hypatia42

As per the stereotype of Wednesday as hump day there are good things and bad things and what you choose to focus on is what gets your energy.

bad: I woke for the second day in a row unable to turn my head. Debilitating pain, yes beyond my normal levels and that says something, was stabbing me in the back of the head.
-I have iced it, taken pain meds, rested, slept, honored my boundaries, and gone to see the chiro for the second time this week.
-I feel I have done all I can do for this situation at the moment thus dwelling on it does me no good.

bad: uterus is stabbing me randomly and not so randomly.
-I have done everything I am willing to do for this situation. I am not willing to completely forgo sex until after the issue is finalized(read, months if I am lucky). I have already curtailed most of that activity. Thus this is something I just have to deal with for now.

bad:My house is a wreck and shit needs to get done.
-see above for why dealing with this has not happened yet. Honoring my boundaries means I will go lay down for a nap soon.

Good: MrBee finally got back to me in a real reply kind of fashion. SQUEE. The bee season is slowing down and the kids are going back to school thus more time is available to be devoted to other things.
-people have their own schedules and lives and no matter how much you want to personalize it and beat yourself up, its really not about you.

Good: Shirtless continues to engage in fun ways with me. I enjoy talking with him and his mind is one I like. There are a couple of scratchy bits but in a no-expectation/no-stress paradigm they are not really issues.
-relax and go with the flow. Trust that you know your boundaries, that you will communicate them and they will be respected. You are worth that. *deep breath*

Good: Bad September is a local steampunk band that I got to attend the cd release for last night.
-Did realize that I don't really deal well with being on stage as I am not really a very good exhibitionist.
-made connections with other parts of the local steampunk community. Might have an outlet for that part of me without having to deal with the murder mystery group.

Good: allergy season seems to be calming down for me.

Good: I constantly have amazing people supporting me from across the globe. I know and love and am loved by so many and feel blessed.

Good: people are reaching out to me for love and support in the realms of my ministry and I can do those things in spite of being in pain and low on energy.
-your gifts are those things that can be proffered no matter the situation. You are blessed.

Good things are good. Bad things have been dealt with to the best of my ability. Nap now. Much love.

I enjoyed myself. No really. I spread the love of whipped cream all over the con, or at least the inside of my elbows for the con goers. There was punch and pie to be had. People who don't know me well continued the trend of assuming I am intoxicated at parties. They are still wrong. My first full con working as a Seamstress with the approval of Madame Palm and the whole of the Guild. That was fun.

The reason it wasn't what I needed just now is that I need to be touched. There was touching going on. But most of the touching going on was people trolling for sexual partners for the weekend. One guy even went so far as to say, I'm not allowed to do anything with anyone who lives in the Twin Cities. *headdesk moment* If that doesn't mostly sum up the weekend I'm not sure what does. Feels a bit like, "You're no use to me because I can't have sex with you."

There was one guy I was making blush all weekend cause I could. I think he was a little afraid of me at first. If I took a step forward he would take one back. I was wondering how far he would go but decided that it would be mean to find out. Falling down the stairs being a not nice thing after all. He acted like a boy. He was 33.

I was asked to scare and "break in" another 20 year old. Turns out the guy that asked me to do this didn't know the actually 22 year old as well as he thought he did. Way more mature than the 33 year old. Not really scare-able. Had fun chatting with him though. And making him eat pie with his punch. And whipped cream. :)

I feel like my true victory of the weekend was a con-virgin brought in by another Seamstress. Approximately 24 hours did it take before he came far enough outside his fortress that he felt he could poke me in the back. We spent much time giggling and poking each other the rest of Sat night and into Sunday morning. He describes his fortress as having one small wooden door that he usually can't find the key to. I wanna send him a small skeleton key so he doesn't loose it again. He's another on the list of people I can tickle! Hehehehe.

I am definitely noticing that I am going without my needs being met for too long in between. Long slow starvation instead of absolutely nothing. Like a house plant that gets watered occasionally will loose leaves one at a time until there are none left rather than wilting all at once. I know why its happening. I've agreed to it. I've put myself in this situation. I do need to address the too long in between thing though.

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Its Wednesday

Confidence is sexy, or How Marscon was not what I needed right now

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October 2021

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