hypatia42

I have been told by my Rheum people that taking 6 months off is likely the best way to see if my body will heal. This is full of feels. Super complicated feels. Parfait.

I finally transferred files from my new camera to my computer. I need to take a class in LR and PS. I am under-utilizing those programs. It took forever. I think I also need to come up with a cloud storage option for my stuff. Back-ups are critical.

I signed up for Medical Cannabis. I really hope it helps. I feel like I am losing too much of my life to sitting down from pain. The site says up to 30 days for the request to be processed. Also, traveling across state lines with it is technically speaking really illegal. Fuck you Jeff Sessions. Fuck you in the ear.

Yesterday I bottle of wine exploded in my hand at work. I have never had that happen before. I have been working there for almost 11 years. This was a spectacular kind of shatter that had me terrified that I was going to be pulling glass shards out of my skin for days. Three different people cleaning up the area over 2 days and there are still visible glass shards on the wine racks. Probably near 30 bottles of wine had to be discounted because the labels were covered in wine. My boss just rolled with it. He was glad I wasn't hurt and in the 16 years that the store has been running that has only happened mebbe a dozen times. The hand that was holding the bottle that shattered is sore today, like the muscles between the bones are sore. Dunno if that is connected.

Went to a Suzanne Vega concert last night and got pretty lit. Absinthe is a start the night type drink not the end. 0.o Unexpectedly EE came up. Turns out the gal that told me about the concert is friends with her BabyDaddy and wanted to know if EE and I were still on good terms. I was able to reassure her that I am not a spy for EE on BabyDaddy. I now have the possibility of reconnecting with the boy that I lost because his mother went bat-shit on me. I cried A Lot.

Went to see Cupping Guy on Sunday because my shoulder is getting to the point that I can't keep functioning with it this way. I got a good hour long massage on my upper back and shoulder girdle then he covered my back in cups and left them there for about 10 minutes. Lots changed. Like whoa.

Monday saw a headache settle in from my shoulder in the evening but is was knocked down to manageable by an alcoholic drink(that had its own problems but I will write about that later). During the day I was super functional. I worked at the mall. I had a client. Then I went grocery shopping. It is possible that I did too much and tried to carry things that were too heavy for the state my shoulder is currently in and that caused the headache.

Tuesday was chiro adjustment, lunch with

Woke up this morning and couldn't turn my head. Something on the left side of my neck and shoulder is stuck. If I have perfect posture, see Pilates, I'm fine. Can't use my left arm but y'know, "fine." I have not done anything in days that would cause muscle tension. Had public new moon ritual last night and had T-student come over to carry things up and down the stairs. I did nothing save carry and hold a vase of flowers. Left side is not my usual "problem side."

I was mostly fine for a while. I discovered in Portland that CDBs work fairly well for me for certain types of pain.

Friday I started getting a headache again around dinner. Ended my night early, came home, and laid down with an ice pack after throwing all the drugs at it(benadryl, flexeril, ibuprofen). I woke feeling mostly okay.

Carrying anything heavy is right out. Causes immediate pain. Looking like doing massage is getting harder on my joints as I have noticed a correlation between headaches/pain days and how many massage hours I am doing. That scares me. Not sure how to resolve it.

Friday morning I woke with a head and ear ache. Drove to Chicago for Capricon. The pain steadily got worse over the day. To the point where people at the convention were asking me if I was okay. I changed my plans and didn't do things I wanted to do because of my pain level.

I realized I don't have a good idea of how often I have incapacitating pain or how long it lasts. Right now we are on day three. I had to cancel 4 hours of massage, 3 clients total today. I saw Dr D for an adjustment and muscle stim today. It helped for a while. Mostly the Sx are in my right side shoulder and neck referring up into the right side of my head.

I think I don't post here often any longer because I mostly interact with the internet via my phone. I should find out if there is an app that will let me at least update. Reading on my phone is tedious.

As I am getting my brain in order for the first time in years I am noticing I do a lot of things to accommodate all of my atypical diagnoses. I should probably word that at some point. SO I can keep track or some shit.

Headache since 3am today. This straight up blows. Imma try to sleep now. Scratch that, I am going to drug myself to sleep now. Nite!

I've been busy. Probably too busy. For a long time. Definitely too long.

This week the Honey is in Denver and I have found myself unwinding the extra tension like a spring that has been wound too tight. If you let it go its gonna go wild and possibly break. But if you gently unwind it it'll probably be fine. *sigh*

I have watched more tv in the past two days than I have in months, which isn't really saying much cause I don't think I have watched tv in months. There are a couple of tv shows I have in the DVR queue that I had to go back to Feb for the last one I had seen and I know there is one in there that is as old as December. All the tv watching isn't really good for me though. Hurts my neck and today I am really paying for it. I have a headache so bad my R eye feels stabbity and I am avoiding light sources.

I paid for a massage a bit ago and it was a really good idea. I also know that there is a lot more work to be done, see unwinding above.

Trying not to break in the process of relaxing. The week in FL will be good for that. I will sit in the sun. I will play in the surf. I will visit the ocean realm. I will see people I love who love m in return. I will also be sleeping in a bed that allows rest and recuperation. This is key for vacation!

I need to remember that while I no longer have a uterus cyclically making my life a living hell, I do still have hormones and a small amount of endometrial tissue. This could be contributing to the headache as well.

The Honey has decided that he wants to follow me around and capture pictures of people when I tell them that my uterus is now in my freezer. He thinks it would be a riot. He is probably right. There have been some doozies.

I finally started getting out of the house some on Saturday. 3.5 hrs of errands and lunch. I took a nap after but still didn't need percocet. I was off it completely by Sunday. Monday the Honey went back to work for which he was remarkably grateful. He jokingly said to his boss, "I need a rest from this time off. Can I get back to work?" He has a good boss. Still, not having anyone at home has meant that I am getting up and moving much much more. I figured I would. I get restless and don't like to sit at home alone. Interestingly I can be alone in other places and its no big deal. Home is not easy. At any rate, I have seen a marked increase in pain, enough that I took a percocet when I got home this evening. I need to chill out, slow down, and let my body heal. Thing is, I already feel like I am going at snail's pace. I'm not. I'm healing really well. That will not continue if I push myself.

The gas in my abdomen has started to dissipate. Honestly that has been the most uncomfortable part for me. Other people who have had laproscopic procedures told me this would be the case but they mentioned muscle pain from the gas absorbing to be eliminated. For me it has been all about my body being a shape its not used to. I couldn't zip up my coat! I have no idea how fitting clothing is going to go. I may be in yoga pants to the end of the month which would make TeslaCon sad indeed. It does hurt to be a shape that I am not used to being. My ribcage is trying to accommodate the extra volume but it really doesn't have anywhere to put it.

One of the things I have been doing with my time is starting small batches of test brews. I don't have enough honey for a 5 or 6 gallon. I do have enough for smaller things.
-So I racked the elderflower. It has turned out effervescent. I'm going to try to bottle it carefully and see if some of that will keep. It tastes like an ice wine only floral. It is remarkable.
-Into that one gallon carboy went an experiment. I wanted to see if I could make a pumpkin mead and if I could what it would taste like. I had about 2 lbs of a honey darker than I want to put into the cyser I will start and much too dark for the pyment. I figured it would be a lovely warm flavor for a pumpkin. I baked the pumpkin then cubed it and ran it thru the juicer. Much like the mango, pumpkin is not so much juice as it is puree. Then I took all the pulp and tossed it into a pot with some mulling spices essentially making pumpkin stock out of it. Combine the stock with half of the puree, add dark honey and supplement with 8-10 oz of maple syrup. Voila! And then I forgot the lesson I learned with the mango so I had a small volcano of fruit puree. Little harm done overall. Fermcap added and everything is moving along nicely now.
-One of the honeys I was given as a gift at my birthday honey is a honey I have lusted over for years. gwisteria's mother brought some honey back home with her from Costa Rica from her family's hives there. gwisteria doesn't use honey the way I do. So she gave it to me. Today I put together a straight mead with it. There is only about 3/4 of a gallon. Its spicy and rich with a bright note that I can't put my finger on. It should turn out lovely.

I need bottles to put the rest of Freya's Gold up. Its time. I just need to get the bottles. I think I have been putting that one off because it is pretty labor intensive and I shouldn't be doing things like that right now. I suppose I can continue to get things ready for this year's batch to go in once I have enough honey.

Brewing-wise I feel like I need a label. Or rather I need a designer to help me manifest the label I have in my head. I'm thinking Lazy Cat Meadery

Last night I went to a nutrition class for a couple of CEUs. Food for thought. Thoughts about food. I need to get back to journaling. I've been lax about it for months.