(no subject)

[hypatia42]

The Honey has very different relationship structures and needs than I do. How on earth does he put up with me?

Comments

[welshbard.livejournal.com]

Love. That's all he needs.

[equinesnob.livejournal.com]

I second that.

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

I disagree. I can love someone I don't even like. Doesn't mean it is good for me to be near them.

[welshbard.livejournal.com]

That's not the case in this situation. But you are correct, he also needs patience. This is the Honey we're talking about.

[equinesnob.livejournal.com]

I think it's difficult to draw broad lines like, "it's good for me to be near this person" or "it's bad for me to be around that person." Additionally there are different varieties of love. The love you have for the person you may or may not dislike is not the love you share with the person you bring into your home. Not everyone can deal with a high-maintenence mate. Others don't really notice that much and focus instead on the joys that are shared. This creates more of this different breed of love. The english language doesn't account for these different breeds, but I'm sure spanish or italian could help specify the aspects I'm trying to descibe. Unfortunately, I'm not fluent or even very famaliar with either...

[hypanebliss.livejournal.com]

Choice. Free will. I'd say the benefits outweigh the negative aspects. :) He might even wonder at the same question you just asked.

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

"How on Earth do I put up with her?"

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Very funny.

[siriciryon.livejournal.com]

I think most people can reflect that question onto their own situation so long as they're in a relationship.
Nobody has exactly the same needs, and I'd be surprised if there are very many where the paired sets of needs fully match up.

When I ask the same question, I usually find myself following it, koan style, with "I am so lucky."

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

I don't know what "koan style" is but I do know I am lucky. I don't have to understand to know that.

[siriciryon.livejournal.com]

In Zen Buddhism, there are any number of puzzles which are essentially nonsense questions. Masters ask their students these questions in an attempt to give the students a puzzle sufficiently interesting and difficult that the student's mind will worry at it like a dog with a juicy bone, quietly turn itself off in the meantime/state-of-being-stumped, and in that moment, when their mind is off, they will achieve (however briefly) Enlightenment.
The puzzles are called "koan", and the canonical example is "If a tree falls in a forest with no one to hear it, does it make a sound?". Evidence of 'understanding' a koan is realizing that the question it asks is predicated on something which is nonsense, and doing the appropriate end-run around the problem, á là the solution to the Gordian knot.

[daurdabla.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure your example really qualifies as a koan, since it can be easily resolved by some questions of categorization. If "sound" means "pressure waves in air," then the answer is "yes." If "sound" means "pressure waves in air perceived by a living being," then the answer is "no."

"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" and "Show me the face that was yours before you were born" are more classical koans (although the latter might have to say "conceived" nowadays, what with the availability of ultrasound scans).

[siriciryon.livejournal.com]

I usually consider that one in light of details of quantum mechanics; if there is no observer to detect changes in a system, then the system hasn't changed - the question becomes nonsense because, how does anyone know the tree fell? If no one observed the sound, are we sure it happened? etc.