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I think I have finally figured out why I keep feeling like I miss E and less so with P. He lived here. He was a functional healthy partner in my life on a regular basis. He was my partner in crime. P has never been that and thus I cannot really miss something I have never had with him.
Right now I am wishing there was someone else I could call, that I could rely on, that I could curl up and sob on. I miss that so fucking much.
I'm a wreck right now. I had to force myself to eat. I'm stupidly awake. The Honey is in Denver and thus won't drag me to bed. I am trying not to be unreasonably angry at Ash for falling out of my life the way he did. I don't know who else to call. I don't know how to fall apart without someone I trust to hold me together so the pieces don't get lost.
I miss having another partner here in MN.
Right now I am wishing there was someone else I could call, that I could rely on, that I could curl up and sob on. I miss that so fucking much.
I'm a wreck right now. I had to force myself to eat. I'm stupidly awake. The Honey is in Denver and thus won't drag me to bed. I am trying not to be unreasonably angry at Ash for falling out of my life the way he did. I don't know who else to call. I don't know how to fall apart without someone I trust to hold me together so the pieces don't get lost.
I miss having another partner here in MN.