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Feb. 6th, 2013 11:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hypatia42Its winter and its dark and its cold and I am doing what I can, honest I am. When when you are doing what you can and it is still dark and cold and suck the only thing left is to endure.
Harder to ignore the bad scripts in my head when its dark and cold. Its harder to get past being triggered. Its harder to believe I will not be treated in the same way as I was before. Intellectually I know that these are different people than I was interacting with before. I still want to curl up in a ball and hide until the bad feelings go away.
I know that leaving next week for Denver will help. I will get sun at an intensity that doesn't happen here. It will help. Going to Phoenix in March will help.
Tom Cat just commented on the fb post about triggers. The funny thing about that is that it was my relationship with him in the original situation, not his fault either. If anything could make me smile today...
I need to start packing for AZ. Finding things like sunscreen and bathing suits type objects.
Harder to ignore the bad scripts in my head when its dark and cold. Its harder to get past being triggered. Its harder to believe I will not be treated in the same way as I was before. Intellectually I know that these are different people than I was interacting with before. I still want to curl up in a ball and hide until the bad feelings go away.
I know that leaving next week for Denver will help. I will get sun at an intensity that doesn't happen here. It will help. Going to Phoenix in March will help.
Tom Cat just commented on the fb post about triggers. The funny thing about that is that it was my relationship with him in the original situation, not his fault either. If anything could make me smile today...
I need to start packing for AZ. Finding things like sunscreen and bathing suits type objects.