State of the Amy: post surgery edition
Dec. 7th, 2012 10:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hypatia42If there is one thing I hate more than any other it is feeling like a burden. I can't stand it. People trying to take care of me when I am perfectly capable makes me crazy. I have gone long and long stretches of time not getting my needs met because there was no one around who could do that without inconveniencing themselves. An extrovert in a community of introverts has a hard time meeting their needs.
*note to self* I might have to become more careful tracking moods. Hormones are still a factor and I need to make sure I know what is effecting me. */note*
No idea where it came from yesterday but I found myself needing to be reassured that the Honey would talk to me and work through things before just giving up on our relationship. He very kindly said that yes he would and then asked where the hell that came from. I don't have a very good answer but I think it is rooted in the burden feelings listed above. I haven't been able to do much of anything for myself lately. There is definitely a difference in self image between choosing to not to something and physically not being able to do it. Between the physical invasion evidence and the physical limitations my self image has taken a serious beating. My usual glow has been diminished. I'm being gentle with myself but I also know that the Honey is tired. I wish I could send him on a vacation. *shrug* He would likely just go to his parent's and work all weekend anyhow. <3
-The gluten sensitivity is a PITA. I'm a little afraid to test it given how bad I felt after Thanksgiving. Glad to live in a geographic area that is used to dealing with Celiac.
-Babysat Wolfpup last night and I am not physically up to throwing around a toddler yet. It ellicits stabbity feelings in my pelvic region.
-I can actually zip up my coat again which is nice. This means the nitrogen in my abdominal cavity has been absorbed into solution.
-I did lose quite a bit of muscle tone through inactivity. Working has been interesting because of this but I am taking it slow and I have a great client list.
Sitting down to have a financial conversation tonight. I think most of the bills are in now. We shall see how things turn out. I know I am knitting several Christmas presents already. I do wonder if my hands are going to stand up to the stress. :)
*note to self* I might have to become more careful tracking moods. Hormones are still a factor and I need to make sure I know what is effecting me. */note*
No idea where it came from yesterday but I found myself needing to be reassured that the Honey would talk to me and work through things before just giving up on our relationship. He very kindly said that yes he would and then asked where the hell that came from. I don't have a very good answer but I think it is rooted in the burden feelings listed above. I haven't been able to do much of anything for myself lately. There is definitely a difference in self image between choosing to not to something and physically not being able to do it. Between the physical invasion evidence and the physical limitations my self image has taken a serious beating. My usual glow has been diminished. I'm being gentle with myself but I also know that the Honey is tired. I wish I could send him on a vacation. *shrug* He would likely just go to his parent's and work all weekend anyhow. <3
-The gluten sensitivity is a PITA. I'm a little afraid to test it given how bad I felt after Thanksgiving. Glad to live in a geographic area that is used to dealing with Celiac.
-Babysat Wolfpup last night and I am not physically up to throwing around a toddler yet. It ellicits stabbity feelings in my pelvic region.
-I can actually zip up my coat again which is nice. This means the nitrogen in my abdominal cavity has been absorbed into solution.
-I did lose quite a bit of muscle tone through inactivity. Working has been interesting because of this but I am taking it slow and I have a great client list.
Sitting down to have a financial conversation tonight. I think most of the bills are in now. We shall see how things turn out. I know I am knitting several Christmas presents already. I do wonder if my hands are going to stand up to the stress. :)