My life from Impressionistic viewpoint

[hypatia42]

I see myself in other people. Sometimes it makes me smile. Sometimes it makes me cry. Sometimes I smile or cry for me. Sometimes for you.

I wrote in Paris that rain on a pane of glass helped me to see the world through an Impressionist's lens. Tonight I discovered that tears will do the same thing.

Tonight I wept because I cannot bed over to kiss my husband without hurting. My chiropractor says, "time takes time" as though that will help me through this. I'm used to hurting. I'm not used to being so restricted. For some reason I'm having trouble in waves dealing with this situation. I'm having to get a new car with no way of getting the income to cover that. I have obligations that I cannot meet and people that depend on me that I am letting down. I feel helpless. My brain is so scrambled that I am writing *everything* down.

I seem to need to be surrounded by people who will touch me all the time. It really helps me feel better. Anyone wanting to know why I love LK Hamilton's books, its that simple. She writes about people who get what I need. Forget the sex. Any trashy romance will give you that. No, she has created worlds where touching is accepted and an expected norm. Lately I can't even read them. It seems I *have* given up hope.

Tonight hope is beyond me. Tonight I pray for sleep. I pray for a waking that helps me move through my day. I pray for help with my helplessness.


It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
Nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
Is just the way that we are tied in
But there's no one home
I grieve for you
And you leave me
So hard to move on
Still loving what's gone
Say life carries on
Carries on and on and on and on
The news that truly shocks
Is the empty, empty page
While the final rattle rocks
Its empty, empty cage
And I can't handle this
I grieve for you
You leave me
Let it out and move on
Missing what's gone
Say life carries on
Say life carries on and on and on
Life carries on in the people I meet
In everyone that's out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
In the rod and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on
Just the car that we ride in
The home we reside in
The face that we hide in
The way we are tied in
As life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on
Did I dream this belief
Or did I believe this dream
Now I will find relief
I grieve

It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
Nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
Is just the way that you were tied in
Now there's no one home

I grieve for you
And you leave me

It's so hard to move on
Still loving what's gone
And still life carries on
Carries on and on, and on, and on

The news that truly shocks
Is the empty, empty page
While the final rattle rocks
Its empty, empty cage
And I can't handle this

I grieve for you
You leave me

Let it out and move on
Missing what's gone
They say life carries on
They say life carries on, and on, and on

Life carries on in the people I meet
In everyone that's out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
In the rot and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on, and on, and on
Life carries on and on, and on

It's just the car that we ride in
A home we reside in
The face that we hide in
The way we are tied in
And life carries on and on, and on, and on
Life carries on and on and on

Did I dream this belief
Or did I believe this dream
Now I can find relief

I grieve

by Peter Gabriel

Comments

[siriciryel]

*hug*
*lays my hand on your waist, to remain all night and all day*