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hypatia42I've been cold since L left. Both kits curled up with me on a regular basis. M left early Tuesday morning. Colder still.
I've been dealing with some pretty heavy shit since last week. This week its just gotten worse really. It doesn't seem right in my head that I have two partners and neither can touch me when I need it. It doesn't seem right that they can't hold me while I sob.
One thing I have learned to accept through this whole living without them process is that needs will go unmet. It doesn't mean they aren't needs, just that I will go on needing it for an undetermined time.
Another thing? How to take care of myself and see that the needs I can gave met, are. That's my job. I've gotten very good at it. Know what your needs are and make sure that as far as you are able, they are met. Its a good healthy thing to do for ones self.
Specifically over my Christmas break in KC I learned that I love lots and lots of people. I love them and I don't need to have sex with them to have a remarkably fulfilling interaction and relationship.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
niveus_tigris helped me start that journey. For that I thank you dear one. padmaclynne helped too. Love you sweetheart. Last one that drove home that lesson, iron_clad. Calm seas and smooth sailing to you my friend. Come home.
I went to the park where the eagles are this early evening. I love that they are a pair. They work together for everything they do. Much like wolves they mate for the life of their partner, even if they never have any offspring.
Maybe I've been looking for family in the wrong places.
I've been dealing with some pretty heavy shit since last week. This week its just gotten worse really. It doesn't seem right in my head that I have two partners and neither can touch me when I need it. It doesn't seem right that they can't hold me while I sob.
One thing I have learned to accept through this whole living without them process is that needs will go unmet. It doesn't mean they aren't needs, just that I will go on needing it for an undetermined time.
Another thing? How to take care of myself and see that the needs I can gave met, are. That's my job. I've gotten very good at it. Know what your needs are and make sure that as far as you are able, they are met. Its a good healthy thing to do for ones self.
Specifically over my Christmas break in KC I learned that I love lots and lots of people. I love them and I don't need to have sex with them to have a remarkably fulfilling interaction and relationship.
niveus_tigris helped me start that journey. For that I thank you dear one. padmaclynne helped too. Love you sweetheart. Last one that drove home that lesson, iron_clad. Calm seas and smooth sailing to you my friend. Come home.I went to the park where the eagles are this early evening. I love that they are a pair. They work together for everything they do. Much like wolves they mate for the life of their partner, even if they never have any offspring.
Maybe I've been looking for family in the wrong places.
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-03 12:43 am (UTC)hope you don't mind;; i love your writing!
All the best <3
- Noonz xox
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-03 12:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-03 12:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-03 02:11 am (UTC)Tu is mo chroí.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-03 03:13 am (UTC)For the record, sorry about the lack of communication not sorry about the love. Never been sorry about that.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-07 02:27 pm (UTC)