(no subject)

[hypatia42]

Sweet sweet Mary J. Thank you for keeping my company while I stayed awake typing nonsense into sensefullness. Still despite its sense it has no meaning. Thus the illusion of making sense.

"Oh sweet thing. Don't you know you're my everything."

dawningday gave me the "Oh please" look the other day when I told him that I am not sued to people flirting with me because it just doesn't happen all that often. He disagrees. I am apparently using my scale of flirting as a scale for others. He says that a guy getting up the nerve to smile at a girl counts as flirting. This makes my head hurt. I smile at most everyone that I make eye contact with. Does this mean that I'm flirting with *everyone*? I find this hard to believe. Urg.

Goodbye my lover
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won
So I took what's mine by eternal right
Took your soul out into the night
It may be over but it won't stop there
I am here for you if you'd only care
You touched my heart, you touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
And love is blind and that I knew when
My heart was blinded by you
I've kissed your lips and held your hand
Shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted to you

[x2]
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

I am a dreamer and when I wake
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take
And as you move on, remember me
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile

I've watched you sleeping for a while
I'd be the father of your child
I'd spend a lifetime with you
I know your fears and you know mine
We've had our doubts but now we're fine
And I love you, I swear that's true
I cannot live without you

[x2]
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

And I still hold your hand in mine
In mine when I'm asleep
And I will bare my soul in time
When I'm kneeling at your feet

[x2]
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow

James Blunt
Back to Bedlam album

I'm hoping the act of typing these words out will let me process through some of the grief inherent in this song for me. I think the underlined part is the hardest.

Melancholy this evening. Morning rather. Ghosts of the past haunt me. *sigh* Perhaps it is time to hold and be held. The Honey is home this week. This is good.

Comments

[siriciryon.livejournal.com]

First, *HUG*
padmaclynne insists that I flirt with lots of people almost constantly. I agree that I flirt some of the time, but I don't think it's very common.
I'd agree that a smile can be flirtation, but I don't think a smile is automatically - just like you can pervert almost any statement to have a sexualized meaning, but relatively few are intended that way.

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

I have seen you flirt/tease. That was just playing though. Never seen you flirt with intent. Or maybe I have and didn't recognize the subtle nuances.

Thanks for the hug. Not enough sleep definitely makes hugs more necessary. Small feet are leaving my house today though. Much sadness will ensue.

[eolas16.livejournal.com]

That's a good point. Flirting with intent is *very* different than just plain old flirting. Flirting is just fun, in general. Intent makes it something else.

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

However, even flirting for fun is different than being friendly in my mind.

Also, distinction; flirting is not necessarily teasing either.

[eolas16.livejournal.com]

I agree. Let's make a scale!

Generic Friendly (smiling, etc) > Being Friendly > Flirting > Flirting with Intent

[siriciryon.livejournal.com]

I don't want to flirt and be lying about it - so I only choose to flirt when I would be willing to back up my statements.

[eolas16.livejournal.com]

I can appreciate the sentiment, but not all flirting can be lumped together into something one would need to "back up".

[siriciryon.livejournal.com]

I never consciously flirt or tease without being OK with backing up what I'm saying; in other words, if I'm meaning to flirt at all, I mean it full-bore.
This is part of padmaclynne's problem with me and my statement "I hardly ever flirt".

[eolas16.livejournal.com]

I'm apparently a bit of a flirt too. Mostly, I'm just being friendly. Sometimes, however, I actually do realize that I'm flirting. It's just more rare than it seems to others sometimes.

I hope the melancholy passes, being held helps with that.

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Being friendly does not necessarily equal flirting. I am friendly with a lot of people that I wouldn't flirt deliberately with.

It will. And yes, being held helps. More sleep will need to happen.

[eolas16.livejournal.com]

Sleep is where I'd like to be right now...

Erg. At least I don't have to get up at 4:50 AM until Thursday.

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

Goodness. What do you do that you have to get up before the gods? Thats 3:50 here. Augh!

[eolas16.livejournal.com]

On Thursdays I have an Iaido class (Japanese swordsmanship) at 5:30, so I have to be up at 4:50. to get to the dojo at 5:10 or so to change.

[theslice.livejournal.com]

If you're female, then I'm flirtin' ;)

Oh just kidding.

Partially.

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

Uh huh... partially. maybe. most of the time.

[theslice.livejournal.com]

*looks upward with a disarming smile*

am I in the wrong?

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

Those are some nice sharp teeth in that smile.

Not that I'm aware of. Do you feel wrong?

[hypanebliss.livejournal.com]

Gods I hope this enormous thread helped you somehow! Sheesh. :)

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

I'm not melancholy anymore. That counts for something.

[siriciryon.livejournal.com]

Yay!

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

:)

[onyxtwilight.livejournal.com]

You know what would be even better? Watching the two of them have this conversation live, drawing their diagrams in the dirt -- and wearing nothing but their leather pants.

I could sell tickets to that, and make some serious cash. >:-)

[siriciryon.livejournal.com]

this could probably be arranged. We'd need some volunteers to help with demonstrations differentiating the behavior sets...

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

Ooo! Me! I'm good at some of these. Impromptu situational works best but I can probably manage.

[siriciryon.livejournal.com]

*plotting noises for FoV*