hypatia42

Why on earth didn't I think of Santana for work before? It's upbeat, fun and mostly in Spanish so it doesn't matter what they are saying! Bonus!

Grasshopper cookies are great! Finding them in 100 calorie packs is even better.

Haven't seen Lollypop in a few days. Wonder if her other job has started. *sigh* At least I got to give her a hug last time I saw her. She called me tall. I called her short(which she isn't really, at 5'8"). BF just broke up with her. She was really bummed.

I have been rockin on today. Lots to do, lots done. Not in the office tomorrow so I'm trying to make sure thigs are not overlooked. Some may be anyhow but there is a limit to how far I can go to make sure of things when I'm told Monday that I won't be in the office Thurs. I should still get my paycheck today though. Which is good cause I got bills that need payin.

Ever have a moment that you just cannot physically stop looking at someone? I experienced that fromt he other side today on my lunch walk. It was interesting. Three guys walking together, one just couldn't stop looking at me and their conversation ground to a halt. They kept walking as I passed them, but I got the feeling it was a distraction. Sure, I'm wearing a skirt today but its not especially short or anything.

Left my phone at home today. Need to remember to call little bro today as it is his b-day. He seems to have an irrational dislike of his birthday now. Maybe its not so irrational looking at the list of things that have happened to him on his birthday over the last 6 years. I'd hide on my birthday too I suppose. It'll be a year today that his long time girlfriend broke up with him.

Ever notice how the feeling quality of shade differs from trees to buildings? I was walking today at lunch outside and the tree shade is ever so much more friendly. It actually feels green, and a little moist.

Made progress this morning. A client called in with a problem that I have done everything I can do to fix. At this point it is in the hand of Dr. I was a little wobbly on the not taking it personally for a little bit and then I steadied out. Let it go cause there really isn't anything further I can do for the situation. I can still empathize though. I'd be livid if it were me. Getting stronger and more stable everyday.

Monday I wrote about how I had gotten a clear msg that I am "done" with what I need to learn from the current job situaiton. Today I had to have a talk about that whole thing cause I need some help with the strength and focus for keeping it together at work. I need to remember to not get impatient about my progress if I am putting blocks in my way was the result. Which is true. I have an obligation to fulfill here at work. I need to leave here in good standing with the owners because they can open lots of doors for me after I am done with school. That is making progress towards one of my major goals. Finish with that one and then move on to the next working on progress as I can in between with the energy I have left over.

Broke down and cried yesterday. Into the fountain in front of the gov't center while on the phone to a friend. Lots of things moving in the world for me. Lots and lots of progress. Growing hurts. I finally know one person who has been through a loved one moving away before. Not sure how much it will really help functionally but it is nice to have someone to call when I need to say, "This sucks" and simply have them go, "Uh huh. I know."

Having problems is normal. Working through problems and difficulties is how we grow. When someone tries to take away my problems I get seriously angry. Now, maybe this makes me strange but I like having my problems. I don't want anyone to "fix it" for me. I can put a bandaid on myself. When I need stiches I will ask for them, hence dealing with it. But when someone else steps in and tries to give me stiches without asking, as I am trying to put a bandaid on? Hello? Unnecessary care much? The Honey has gotten much better about realising this. This is good.

I'm a little worried about the Dr's choice to have me not come in tomorrow. I am going to use the time wisely and get some necessary stuff done. However I need the hours honestly. I was sick for almost a week a little bit ago. Every hour I can get I really do need. Mixed blessing I guess.

CHAI! I made myself chai this morning as I was leaving for work. Hmm, I love chai. The combination of spices does good things for me. It's fab pep me up. Not something I wanna do everyday cause its loaded with sugar but...

I need to make a couple gallons of tea and have it available to take with me places. I don't mind drinking iced green tea as long as its spkied with a bit of juice. Which is easy enough. That'll get me a bit of caffine without having to overload. Also, my body seems to be rejecting all sorts of other types of caffine. I can't stand to think about drinking an energy drink right now. I picked up an vitamin water and just could drink more than a sip or two, found out later that one has caffine in it.

Non-stop figeting. I really don't remember this from childhood. It does help with the focus though. At least its mostly my feet. That way its not annoying all the people who walk in the door. I know I have seen it in other people before. Usually touching them will get their full attention. Almost all of those people like to be touched regularly. huh...