Monday morning

I woke before I had to this morning. I knew that after a weekend of class I would need to move my appt back to lunch time and had to forethought to do so last week instead of this morning. Its a good day.

Its a beautiful day and I *can* see it.

Death happens. Shock of knowing. The world is changed. True that I am no longer connected to this person because of time and distance but I still feel the impact. Death happens in many ways, even to the living.

Change happens. Decisions made. Change has to happen. Change has to happen or death happens.

Things I learned this weekend, some known, some new;
-It is possible to give of yourself. It is almost never a good idea. *known-good reminder*
-Allow yourself to ask for what you need. *known*
-Push/Pull & Neutral *new*
-The idea that we are spiritual entities who have come into a physical being. *new-more on this later*
-Victim mode disempowers. It removes personal responsibility. *new way of looking at an known idea*
-Warrior is the ultimate place of center. *new*

I've not been listening to my body for too long. Its not been a good place to be for a long time. Not listening has caused damage. No one to blame but myself. Take responsibility. External situation is definitely contributing factor. Too much bottled up to be healthy for anything.

Doing the right thing increases the overall good. Inevitably it is also the hard thing. I feel like it has been my job to do the hard thing lately. I see it needs to be done therefore I do it. I say it. I ask it. Only one person has thanked me for doing it so they didn't have to. That person even said I did it well and with a minimum of damage given the potential in that situation. Some things just need doing. Asking why is it always me doesn't prevent them from needing to be done. I saw it needed to be done and I will do it.

I am looking forward to getting the sword back. I never thought I would say something like that but its true. I believe strongly that to have healthy interaction one must first look inward and be healthy. Let those things that no longer serve me/you or actively fight growth to fall away to allow space for the new things that could be. The pruning has happened/will be happening. What will this growing season look like?

Its a beautiful day and I can see it.

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Two days have seen to different house postings on the neighborhood list I'm on. Any one wanna move to Powderhorn?

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Chiro appointment done. Body says nap time now. Body gets what it needs as much as possible from now on.

How to do the same for the spirit... will have to ask that question I think.

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the girl has had her pill. I'm glad the Honey is home this week cause, while I have yet to completely forget, sometimes it has been 3am before I remembered.

I got blown a kiss.

I got shown how much I am thought of and impact I don't have. Ouch. Not sure why that hurts given the situation but it does. I guess because I see it differently.

Robin Hood -- Disney version

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," Hen
"Or forgetful," Fox

Two very interesting people born tomorrow. I like working on both of them. One of them I love deeply. The other lives across the street.

I need to think more and write more about thoughts. Phrases like "if I'm not anything you want to provide for what do I provide for you?" keep popping into my head.

I'm exhausted. Listening to my body means knowing how hard it is for me to be working right now. I need more touch. I need to be allowed to speak my mind. I need to be allowed a lot of things. I need to allow myself these things. I'm not sure how to do the touch thing as I know I need that and it requires others but we'll see.

Bed calls. Kitty Cat has been sleeping on me and I think it is improving my slept hours in a night.

I am not going to the baseball game tomorrow. I am going to bed.