todays events

awoke in the morning, definitely not in the plan. *sigh* Took time out of the house so the Honey could continue to sleep til afternoon. picked up my apple order. went to order prints of pics I have promise to people or want to give. That took 2.5 hrs. 1.45 of that was pics. The rest was driving. I had 587 pics to go thru at the photo shop. I take lots of pics.

Baby shower. I took more pics. I hope you aren't surprised. One gal thanked me for taking a good picture of her and taking time to pose another flattering one with her in it. She has been having trouble incorporating the older her in her self image and apparently feels that flattering images help her. I'm happy to take good pictures of people. Got a pic of EE and her godmother together. I think they will appreciate that. Left my camera at the party. EE has it in good custody. She promised not to leave it in the car when they went to dinner. She loves me. No really.

Came home to a house filled with chemical smell. Headache, spaciness, need to get out of the house. We went to SMASHbuger. Then to GPS's yearly movie night where I got to see Kick Ass. I think when I put together the comic themed movies I have seen I begin to understand the potential for social commentary possible in that medium. I appreciated that they made it a painful, bloody, broken, horrible mess of a hero film. Doing the right thing is rarely something that does not require sacrifice. The right thing is rarely the easy thing or the pretty thing. It is something you do because it is right to do so. Because letting that mother beat up on her child in the parking lot isn't right. Because drug deals in your neighborhood are not ok. Because so many things in life are unfair and sometimes you are the only one in any position to do anything about it so you have to.

I digress. Goodnight Moon.

in need

of a specific kind of party.

I discovered last night that I am beyond my emotional ...I can't even think of a word. I'm tapped out. I've been providing so much for so long and not getting what I need in return that I'm done. I'm fragile and brittle and irritable and borderline non-functional.

I am so done. Do not want. I'm ready for someone to just make it better already. Not going to happen but gosh it would be nice.

Sitting here trying to come up with *something* I can do for myself to help this get better. Curling up in a ball and sobbing just isn't on the menu today. Maybe I can schedule that in on Tuesday morning after my dentist appointment.