(no subject)

Dancing is good for me.

I'm glad that smoking is not allowed indoors here.

I look pretty darn good in a rather distressingly unnatural shade of red. I wouldn't wear it everyday, but it does look good on me.

Switched back to the Flex Plan on Weight Watchers. Not really sure how long I'll last but I haven't been keeping nearly as good a track of my food intake on Core. Looking at my eating habits over the past few months, I have not been eating anywhere near the amt of veggies and fruits I need. Need to work on that.

Torby was outside ALL day long. She's pretty quiet now. Nice.

Being recognized at the club despite the little frequency I've been going of late is nice.

Play is an end to itself. A reason, direction, and purpose all of its own. I imagine that if you really don't get this it is hard to get me in many ways.

The trouble of having to look up strange shit in the WW points log is actually helping me make better choices. "Dude, how am I gonna figure out how many points I have left if I eat that?" Definitely need to plan better. I did have 5 extra points left over tonight. I had cottage cheese. Is it silly that my treat to myself is cheese? It was even 1% milk-fat.

(no subject)

Life and struggles are getting much easier to deal with sanely and rationally with the sun coming back. Keeping busy this weekend has helped. The Honey being online and available to chat has helped. Today beings the massive amounts of study time crammed into two weeks.

This time last tri I was an emotional wreck, treesong was here in town, the Honey was gone in CO, I was working 3-4 days a week, and lots of studying was happening. I don't think I was taking as good a care of myself then as I am now. I'm down to one day a week for work, diet is better I think. I'm not forcing the "A grade" issue. Its really not a competition, it is about learning the material. Still missing the Honey but I'm getting better about that.

Honestly its the late at night times that I just don't seem to be able to handle well. We've kinda worked out a system for this, he'll call me and we go to bed together. It helps but is not ideal. Company is what I really want. Someone who wants to spend time with me. I miss watching cartoons, I miss watching fun video games, I miss cooking for more than one, I want someone willing to come here to my home. You know, company. Feels like everyone is so busy living their own lives they can't stop to play. So yeah, late nights are hard. I stay up later than I should because going to bed just sounds lonely.

I really don't know what I am going to do with the Honey's cat. She may have to become an outdoor cat until he gets back.

In two weeks this tri will be over. I will then have two weeks to play around and relax. Going to drive down to KC. The likelihood that I'll be at the new Joplin renfest is very high. I will be there for at least a week though. I want to see people! I want to spend time with all my lovelies. And I get to see my wife. Which rocks cause she's awesome.

Evening exploration

I walked down to the river this evening. Playing in the woods. hypanebliss and I finished off the bottle of apple ice wine I brought along. Beautiful wine btw(Domaine Pinnacle Inc. Apple Ice Wine). We sat in the mist by the river, smelled the air, reminded each other of life and spring and all the mischevious things that new life can bring. It was good. Sat for a long time down by where I get to Hades, a river crossroads. Neat place. Very good for me. Reinforced for me that play is a reason and purpose unto itself, it needs nothing more than that.

Also I have been reminded of the truism that you should never ask questions that you do not want the answers to. If you are going to ask a question, you have to give the askee the benefit of the doubt, they might actually be honest with you and tell you the truth. Don't count of people telling you what you want to hear.