Dubbed Ash
Apr. 10th, 2015 10:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hypatia42How is it that EVERY SINGLE FUCKING guy I get interested in as a serious potential has some sort of primary connection with the Norse pantheon?!(*^)*#!?
How is it that I am still questioning my ability to trust myself over every single person that comes into my life?
How did I know that I needed to touch the ankle of this male I have never met before and really didn't know even what he looked like?
What made him reach out and from across the pile and start massaging my hand?
All of these are reasonable and yet unanswerable questions. Much like the not really question I had last night of, "I really don't know what to do with you."
I have thought about it thru last night and today. I have told others before, "I cannot promise that I will not break your heart but I can promise your heart will be broken." There is something about that phrase that is really comforting to me. I have had my heart broken before. I survived. I have a good support system. He seems good at communicating and willing to be frankly honest in situations that don't require it. He appreciates my willingness to be the same. None of this sucks.
Artemis told me once that I am afraid to fall. She is completely right. I have had a long conversation with myself today. This Phoenix is due for rebirth. I will fall. I will trust myself to believe that I will either be caught or I will learn to fly.
How is it that I am still questioning my ability to trust myself over every single person that comes into my life?
How did I know that I needed to touch the ankle of this male I have never met before and really didn't know even what he looked like?
What made him reach out and from across the pile and start massaging my hand?
All of these are reasonable and yet unanswerable questions. Much like the not really question I had last night of, "I really don't know what to do with you."
I have thought about it thru last night and today. I have told others before, "I cannot promise that I will not break your heart but I can promise your heart will be broken." There is something about that phrase that is really comforting to me. I have had my heart broken before. I survived. I have a good support system. He seems good at communicating and willing to be frankly honest in situations that don't require it. He appreciates my willingness to be the same. None of this sucks.
Artemis told me once that I am afraid to fall. She is completely right. I have had a long conversation with myself today. This Phoenix is due for rebirth. I will fall. I will trust myself to believe that I will either be caught or I will learn to fly.