Self-driven vs selfish vs ?
Nov. 23rd, 2010 12:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hypatia42For a long long time I have maintained that I am a supremely selfish person. I have believed that all actions that people take are for selfish reasons. That altruism doesn't exist because people don't do something unless they get something out of it. Even if that something is a decrease in the level of guilt they have for having more than the next person.
I find myself needing another word for this though. I find myself in this situation because it lacks some depth in communication. I know that I still find myself looking at certain actions and thinking, "Well that was selfish," and not meaning the same thing that I mean when I am talking about doing things because they are good for me.
Perhaps it is the difference between selfish with a positive connotation vs with a negative connotation.
Dictionary.com defines selfish as "devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others." Maybe its that last bit that is the difference. What I do is not regardless of others, I don't know that I am capable of that. But it isn't dependent on others either.
Making a giving act dependent on the receiver feels wrong to me. I have always felt the need to give and then release all expectation of return such that the act of giving is the focus. "This is wholly about you. I have thought about this and feel that it is appropriate to you and want to make sure you receive it." Be it an item or a service or a kindness, it doesn't matter.
Huh. Release of attachment. Maybe I'm more Buddhist than I thought.
I find myself needing another word for this though. I find myself in this situation because it lacks some depth in communication. I know that I still find myself looking at certain actions and thinking, "Well that was selfish," and not meaning the same thing that I mean when I am talking about doing things because they are good for me.
Perhaps it is the difference between selfish with a positive connotation vs with a negative connotation.
Dictionary.com defines selfish as "devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others." Maybe its that last bit that is the difference. What I do is not regardless of others, I don't know that I am capable of that. But it isn't dependent on others either.
Making a giving act dependent on the receiver feels wrong to me. I have always felt the need to give and then release all expectation of return such that the act of giving is the focus. "This is wholly about you. I have thought about this and feel that it is appropriate to you and want to make sure you receive it." Be it an item or a service or a kindness, it doesn't matter.
Huh. Release of attachment. Maybe I'm more Buddhist than I thought.