Mar. 30th, 2011

hypatia42: (Fire from water)
In other news...

I came home this eve and sat down to watch NCIS:LA. I struck me that many many people promise things they cannot follow through on. And many many people require those unfulfillable promised to feel secure in life, relationships, and the world at large. Mebbe this is one of those lies Death(of Terry Pratchett fame) talks about like Justice.

"I'll be there for you no matter what." It is a lie. No one can say that with any degree of certainty or accuracy. Or for that matter, "We'll be together forever." That one always gets an eyeroll from me. When you cannot be certain what tomorrow brings you cannot promise forever.

I do my best not to make these types of promises. I don't like it when they are given to me. It doesn't make me feel more secure to know someone is lying to me. It does not make me feel safe to know that ..all the people who get on planes have had low level x-rays taken of them for instance. All manner of things that people tell themselves for security reasons are simply to avoid looking at the inherent volatility in life. Nothing is for sure. Nothing is forever.

When I promise to do my best it is the best that I can do. It is my acknowledgment of utter regard for the promise I am making. I don't make forever promises. I'm not ok with making promises I don't know that I can keep.

A young girl was shot and killed down the block from here last night around 8pm. I wasn't home. The cops came by asking if anyone was home and if they saw anything. Nothing is fair. Nothing is forever.
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
A long long time ago my mom looked at me and told me I would make a great physical therapist. She told me that I would push people to push themselves and never give up on them.

Today I understand what she meant.

Thanks mom. I like that you noticed something in me I wouldn't come to understand or own for a long time. Makes me think that you aren't so clueless afterall. I know I shouldn't point fingers given how I am and all. I know that flighty doesn't necessarily mean unobservant. Still, you've been so unobservant in so many other ways. I mean really, frills? On this body? You gotta be kidding me.

Thank god she doesn't know this thing exists...

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hypatia42

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