Feeling of the day

I do an awful lot of understanding and accepting and adapting to the situations of those around me. Accept and understand and move on unfulfilled and understand and accept what I can get and accept and understand why it can't be right now. Right now I want someone to do that for me. I want it to be about my needs and my schedule and my wants. I want it to be my language that has to be understood and communicated in.

My head knows that I do get this. It is just a feeling. Brought to you by nothing and no one in particular. Don't take it personally. This too shall pass.

weaknesses

I have a weakness for dimples. Its a well publicized weakness. Mostly its just something I enjoy. But when a friend flashes them and I want to cry I know something is up.

Since the car wreck I have been stressed to the edge of functional. Since the car wreck, communication has been difficult on many fronts. I have been frustrated and beside myself at my inadequacies. This has seriously strained at least one relationship. Possibly more.

Know what it was that made me finally realize how bad off I am? I'm slipping into southern on a much more frequent basis. I put it together last night. I only fall back into that accent when I'm exhausted or ticked off. Its been weekly or more since the wreck. Just thinking about that makes me want to cry. My body is doing what it can to pull me back to some sort of equillibrium and everytime I get close they do another test that riles things up again. Right now I just want to be left alone but I'm lonely and need to be touched and I'm effed up. No really. If there was any question about this, the answer lies in my speech. If you hear me speaking in southern, it is because I'm stressed and tired and not dealing well. Speaking in that accent is not my normal state. Be forwarned.

I am doing what I can to help others deal with me while I am unstable. I hope it is helping.