(no subject)

there is a not insignificant amount of amusement I derive from going out dancing with my friends and watching people try to figure out who's with who and how things work. :D

rambly drunk post

Yesterday, some years ago, a friend of mine was born. He decided that he needed to learn how to play so I took him out to the woods to see if I could show him the world as I see it. We both learned something that day I think. Love you. roy_batty

I really do better when I live in a house with other people. I watched TH today putter and be the house it is and I wonder at it. I know I would love living in that kind of situation and know that the Honey's head would likely explode. *sigh* Love is made of compromise.

I've never had a partner that I've lived away from for so long out of our partnership. I'm finding that it chafes. I don't like being apart from him so very much. Its neat to be able to devote time to him when I do get to see him but he can't really be in the day to day actions of my life if he isn't here. I like people in my life. I like being able to reach out and touch them absently.

I discovered earlier this week that it takes a lot out of me to not touch the people around me. I can do it and I know that is the general mode of operation that the US lives by. I don't though. People who I used to be able to touch and no longer can? That takes even more energy and concentration. I think this is part of my problem with Ex. There is a wall of vibrating intentional distance I placed between us and it is draining.

I had a conversation with a gentleman who also works at MOA on Thursday when I was at work. We largely agreed that the feminist movement and the fight to be proven equal has taken the ability to be feminine and capable away from women in the US. He has apparently lived in Europe and says its not like that there. Thinking about the conversation later I was reminded of how alien I feel living here. I mean, I am feminine, I like touching those around me, I make eye contact, I communicate honestly rather than play games. These are not traits of the typical US female. I wonder if I would feel differently living in Europe. Will there be yet another reason that I do not want to come home from Greece in a month?

In less than a week I will be at FoV. Who knows what that will bring this year. I am praying it doesn't bring the level of sickness that it did last year. That would be monumentally BAD.

Amy definition: Worship = active physical form of Adore. If I am topping in the current situation I am worshiping your body. Seems silly to call it topping at that point...

Someday... maybe... it won't be awkward. Why do I hope this? It will only get me in trouble.