(no subject)

Listening quietly to my body. Its saying nap, but its such a gorgeous day I'd rather be outside...

Figuring out anger. Slow process. I'll get there eventually.

Irritation about etiquette seems to be regarded as a "southern"thing. FYI, my name is not Mrs. Michael Scott. never has been, never will be.

Love is dangerous. I made the choice to love anyway after being hurt badly. It was my choice. But I'm was still hurt and I still remember that. Will I ever be able to let that go? *sigh* Working on it.

melancholy

I think its just a melancholy kind of day. Its perfectly beautiful outside. The cats are napping. I am unaccountably, just slightly down. No apparent reason.

It might have something to do with needing to make a decision on to go or not to go to KC this coming weekend. That I would even question this should be a clue as to how serious it is.

Might also have something to do with the Honey's newest cousin. More info on *him* not her. Condition bad enough that they did not accurately sex the baby. Discovered the error in chromosomal testing. His testicles have not dropped out of his abdominal cavity. Not too odd given how pre-term he was born. Nowhere near out of the woods this little one. They named "her" a word that means life and decided to keep the meaning the same with slight variation in pronunciation to indicate male instead.

All that said, I really shouldn't communicate much with these people. They are in the part of the family that scares me. We certainly don't speak the same language. I question what they would think of us doing the sort of thing we are inclined to do in this sort of situation if they knew we were doing it. I don't really know cause I can't tell them. Not sure I want to have that conversation with them, can't really blame the Honey for not wanting to have it either. They are his family after all.

Might also have something to do with the mental processing I have been doing. Going over old stuff in my head, figuring out where I am at on all of it now.

I need people tonight. I need to arrange for that for myself. That may be an answer right there for the should I go to KC question. I miss my wife. I miss my other peeps. Seeing them might do me good. It might also be at the expense of seeing my husband though...