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welcome to Tuesday
May. 15th, 2007 10:34 amLucky me. The Honey decided to wake up today after turning off the alarm clock and going back to sleep. He didn't get a shower but everything else went smoothly. ...I forgot breakfast. Just realized that. No wonder I'm so hungry. Here I thought my stomach was just whining at me.
Looking into Olukun and to a lesser extent Yemaya online today. Interesting stories, mostly sketchy. Everything I found about Olukun said "ominous power" and never described what that power was. Hit on a nerve with forgivness...
I am still struggling with forgiving my body for not being or doing things normally. I am recognizing my limits daily and honoring them. It is still an issue for me that I cannot do some things. Accepting it and being okay with it seem to be two different steps. I still have that initial, "Why can't I do this?" reaction. Caring for myself and taking care of myself is important. Need to journey about this likely. Something is in the way. I need to move that block.
Walked home from work yesterday. Took me an hour. Worked some stuff out that needed going. As I walked I meditated a bit on the "generic" form of the Lord and the Lady that we use. I'm finding it very easy to connect with those two. I may want to start working with them more, though that may need to wait until Initiation. I'll have to check with the PTB.
Really tired of the unclear level of hush hush. Some people know some stuff, others know other stuff. Some people get tinky when you talk to the wrong person, others wonder why I know what I know... The lack of clear delineation creates all sorts of communication snafus and eventually leads to lack of communication for fear of stepping on toes. Nobody has the same set of expecations, rules, of guidlelines. No wonder we're so far spread across the spectrum. The isolation of "polite" has only exacerbated this problem. The autonomy that everyone clings to seems to drive us apart because it prevents real connection. Yeah, so tired of it.
You wanna know why I know what I know? Because people talk. People talk to me, people talk around me, people talk where I can hear. I listen. It is what I do. I do it well. It is not malicious. It is simply paying attention to my surroundings. I listen to everything. I listen to the earth and the wind, the plants and animals, and most of all the people. I listen because that is how to learn and that is what I am here to do. *sigh* I listen to the past as best I can and look to the many futures accepting what I see as best I can.
The way I see it, according to my tradition, I know one thing that I could not openly share with anyone I met if I felt moved to. If this is not true it has never been told to me. I have no idea what else I would know that no one else could know. I know very little that cannot be learned independent of ANY teacher or system. That would admittedly be the hard way, but that does not mean that it is not true.
Looking into Olukun and to a lesser extent Yemaya online today. Interesting stories, mostly sketchy. Everything I found about Olukun said "ominous power" and never described what that power was. Hit on a nerve with forgivness...
I am still struggling with forgiving my body for not being or doing things normally. I am recognizing my limits daily and honoring them. It is still an issue for me that I cannot do some things. Accepting it and being okay with it seem to be two different steps. I still have that initial, "Why can't I do this?" reaction. Caring for myself and taking care of myself is important. Need to journey about this likely. Something is in the way. I need to move that block.
Walked home from work yesterday. Took me an hour. Worked some stuff out that needed going. As I walked I meditated a bit on the "generic" form of the Lord and the Lady that we use. I'm finding it very easy to connect with those two. I may want to start working with them more, though that may need to wait until Initiation. I'll have to check with the PTB.
Really tired of the unclear level of hush hush. Some people know some stuff, others know other stuff. Some people get tinky when you talk to the wrong person, others wonder why I know what I know... The lack of clear delineation creates all sorts of communication snafus and eventually leads to lack of communication for fear of stepping on toes. Nobody has the same set of expecations, rules, of guidlelines. No wonder we're so far spread across the spectrum. The isolation of "polite" has only exacerbated this problem. The autonomy that everyone clings to seems to drive us apart because it prevents real connection. Yeah, so tired of it.
You wanna know why I know what I know? Because people talk. People talk to me, people talk around me, people talk where I can hear. I listen. It is what I do. I do it well. It is not malicious. It is simply paying attention to my surroundings. I listen to everything. I listen to the earth and the wind, the plants and animals, and most of all the people. I listen because that is how to learn and that is what I am here to do. *sigh* I listen to the past as best I can and look to the many futures accepting what I see as best I can.
The way I see it, according to my tradition, I know one thing that I could not openly share with anyone I met if I felt moved to. If this is not true it has never been told to me. I have no idea what else I would know that no one else could know. I know very little that cannot be learned independent of ANY teacher or system. That would admittedly be the hard way, but that does not mean that it is not true.