on someone else's journal

the question was asked; is it less painful to choose to walk away from something you love or to have it taken from you? does the choice take some of the hurt away? or does it hurt just as bad either way?

For me, having it taken away is less pain than walking away. Walking away you have to deal with the pain of knowing you made the choice to do it in addition to the pain of the loss. The trick I have yet to learn is to let go of what could have been and admit what you have now and that it is not good for you.

Not you, I. I have to learn to let go of what could have been and admit that what I had was not good for me and to let it go so I can have some peace.

Walking away forces you to own the pain not blame it on someone else. "I walked away. I gave up this opportunity. My choices are the reason I am in pain."

Walking away does not mean that it won't get better. Walking away means admitting itt may get better but it will not be better with me a part of it. Walking away from what I love because it is hurting me does that mean that I stop hurting. It simply means that I do not give it the power to continue hurting me.

For me, I need to be better at realizing when something is not giving me what I need anymore. I could wish that in some situations peple were better at communicating their ability to fill a need that I have but I cannot control that. I can control when I say enough. I need to be able to maitain the love and admiration for the people in the situation. I need to be able to walk away without hurting and being hurt. Honest appraisal of the situation not rose colored glasses.

Be aware of yourself and own that which is yours. That which is not yours do not own it.