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I am not where I should be. I had no idea that the connection would last so very long and so very far away. My home and my family are living their dreams right now. The small little gypsy part of my brain says that I am letting them down by not being there with them to celebrate, to entertain, to live.
Last night I got out my fire stick. I warmed up and threw it around, found out that is not really a good idea to try and throw the thing with numb fingers it being weighted and all. It felt good. Streched a part of me that hasn't been touched in a while.
Carrying it back to the car I realized it smells like faire. I can't even imagine what smell could embody faire, no words could describe it. But there it was. Imbedded into the wood itself. The complex array of smells that means comfort and home to me. Its not something that many people would buy if you could reproduce it and put it in a bottle. It is dirt and sweat, incense, perfumes, and oils. The smell of decomposing leaves, growing herbs, straw, and old wood. Its a happy smell for me.
That smell was what I needed to remind me of a very special and important part of me. All day today I remembered that I was, for an all too brief time, one of a select few people who did a thing for love. There is no money involved in being a performer. There is no glory, "real" actors shun us. There is only the look on the faces of the people that you can touch. Those people that will let down their walls and allow themselves wonder and joy for a short time in their hard lives. Maybe more people would buy that smell than I think. Its has always been a part of my psyche, who's to say that it isn't a part of so many more?
Slowly Talia is crumbling away. I was never much of a gypsy to begin with. Talia was unsure of herself and part of major transitions in my life. While she helped me through the time she served her purpose. Hazel is replacing her. Strong and tall, warm in sight, touch, and heart. How can someone be impregnable and vulnerable at the same time? That is she. You will meet her by and by and perhaps you will know the answer.
I'm glad you all had such a wonderful day! Even on the worst days you will have touched someone's life for the good.
Last night I got out my fire stick. I warmed up and threw it around, found out that is not really a good idea to try and throw the thing with numb fingers it being weighted and all. It felt good. Streched a part of me that hasn't been touched in a while.
Carrying it back to the car I realized it smells like faire. I can't even imagine what smell could embody faire, no words could describe it. But there it was. Imbedded into the wood itself. The complex array of smells that means comfort and home to me. Its not something that many people would buy if you could reproduce it and put it in a bottle. It is dirt and sweat, incense, perfumes, and oils. The smell of decomposing leaves, growing herbs, straw, and old wood. Its a happy smell for me.
That smell was what I needed to remind me of a very special and important part of me. All day today I remembered that I was, for an all too brief time, one of a select few people who did a thing for love. There is no money involved in being a performer. There is no glory, "real" actors shun us. There is only the look on the faces of the people that you can touch. Those people that will let down their walls and allow themselves wonder and joy for a short time in their hard lives. Maybe more people would buy that smell than I think. Its has always been a part of my psyche, who's to say that it isn't a part of so many more?
Slowly Talia is crumbling away. I was never much of a gypsy to begin with. Talia was unsure of herself and part of major transitions in my life. While she helped me through the time she served her purpose. Hazel is replacing her. Strong and tall, warm in sight, touch, and heart. How can someone be impregnable and vulnerable at the same time? That is she. You will meet her by and by and perhaps you will know the answer.
I'm glad you all had such a wonderful day! Even on the worst days you will have touched someone's life for the good.
