I wonder if he realizes that calling me now, 2.5 hours late is a bad idea. probably not. Yeah for me! I get to yell. and the longer he waits the more I can be mad. I don't like being mad, I don't like yelling. maybe thats all he responds to anymore...
perhaps if he actually showed up at my door and I had the option of letting him in or not, I'd feel better. its not going to happen. I just don't think there's room for me in his life. He's too busy to see me or get in touch with me even when he makes plans to. i realize this is the worst time of year for busy families. I understand that! Don't make plans if you legitemately don't have time.
*sigh* even now my mind is going you should calm down. What if he had to take a kid to the doctor again or is off on one of his rescue missions to god knows where for whatever reason cause he loves his kids and his family so much. Then the other part of my brain elbows right back in and says more proof that there is not room enough in his life. "You are not an emergency. You are not a child with needs to be met. You are not even a mate with needs to be met. Deal with what you can occasionally get or walk away."
The Guess Who; "Got no Time" plays on the soundtrack of my brain. I don't slow down enough to get the attention that I need as it is. Don't promise me something you can't deliver or that you will forget.
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