Entries tagged with ee

Entry tags:

(no subject)

I finally transferred files from my new camera to my computer. I need to take a class in LR and PS. I am under-utilizing those programs. It took forever. I think I also need to come up with a cloud storage option for my stuff. Back-ups are critical.

I signed up for Medical Cannabis. I really hope it helps. I feel like I am losing too much of my life to sitting down from pain. The site says up to 30 days for the request to be processed. Also, traveling across state lines with it is technically speaking really illegal. Fuck you Jeff Sessions. Fuck you in the ear.

Yesterday I bottle of wine exploded in my hand at work. I have never had that happen before. I have been working there for almost 11 years. This was a spectacular kind of shatter that had me terrified that I was going to be pulling glass shards out of my skin for days. Three different people cleaning up the area over 2 days and there are still visible glass shards on the wine racks. Probably near 30 bottles of wine had to be discounted because the labels were covered in wine. My boss just rolled with it. He was glad I wasn't hurt and in the 16 years that the store has been running that has only happened mebbe a dozen times. The hand that was holding the bottle that shattered is sore today, like the muscles between the bones are sore. Dunno if that is connected.

Went to a Suzanne Vega concert last night and got pretty lit. Absinthe is a start the night type drink not the end. 0.o Unexpectedly EE came up. Turns out the gal that told me about the concert is friends with her BabyDaddy and wanted to know if EE and I were still on good terms. I was able to reassure her that I am not a spy for EE on BabyDaddy. I now have the possibility of reconnecting with the boy that I lost because his mother went bat-shit on me. I cried A Lot.

Entry tags:

September starts

there was a hurricane and a shit storm at the end of August. There was heat and there was allergy hell. I think I am glad its over.

Today I started P90X Lean. I've been super stressed about the physical issues going on and I know I have been stress eating. I am going to do my best to change that into stress workouts. I am back to not being able to eat enough food because of the muscle building. I feel a bit like I can't win for losing but I know that getting in better shape now will prevent more issues and allow faster recovery when it comes time for surgery. *aside; I just not looked up the word surgery and it doesn't necessarily involve cutting into flesh*

Three difference procedures are on the horizon for me. Possibly two if the first one isn't favorable. But we aren't focusing on that. I've been trying to figure out how to explain why I am so upset about this. The most benign of the three involve reaching inside me, grabbing a piece, and twisting it off. Its a pretty viscerally not fun experience. For those lacking a uterus I would liken it to someone taking a pair of tongs and twisting your uvula off. For the record I have had this done twice now. My recovery time and pattern has not gone well the other times.

I have maintained some sort of marks since CONvergence. Yes this makes me happy. Not being able to have sex is a bummer but there are so many other things than sex I am doing ok. I should hear back from my Dr on Thursday.

I have made two solid connections here in the Twin Cities. Two different guys that I can spend time with and its understood that it is low stress. One is so low stress I never hear from him. The other has three other women and practices what he calls radical honesty. Having seen radical honesty I don't think that is what he is doing but he is committed to not lying. He and I have a lot of philosophy in common.

MrBee's life has slowed down enough that I am finally getting to know him. Its super fun. I enjoy picking his brain about things and he seems to enjoy sharing so for the moment things are all groovy there. I am learning things from him about TeslaCon and I'm really getting excited about that. There will be sewing.

The kids are all back in school as of today. Wolf pup starts his first day of preschool.

We went apple picking over the weekend. Sweetland Orchard really is an awesome place. I love the people who own it. Last weekend was orchard clean up day. I like being able to contribute to the upkeep of a place that I value in a physical as well as monetary way. I think incorporating something like that might be fun for the wellness center.

Be Wellness is the interim name for the wellness center that will be. I told EE that I would be tempted to put bees all over the walls. She said she is fine with that. :) Any positive thoughts/energy you wanna throw our way is appreciated. We have a cider jar in the office right now holding all that stuff. Toss it in with the rest.

Entry tags:

The Longest Night

So I was sick for Yule and the day of the solstice. I didn't get up to see the sun rise. I haven't felt the wheel turning this year as I usually do. Chaos has reigned in my life. Changes thrust upon me and situations not of my choosing have occupied my mind while more than my usual amount of work has occupied my body. I didn't get to spend much time shopping for loved ones with the Honey. The time I did get I was ill and exhausted.

Yesterday EE gave birth. I wasn't there physically to help her but I was there in spirit lending my energy to her where possible. I was spent and feeling ill long about the time she was done now that I think about the time-line. The holidays in KC are always hard on us but I felt extra tired by the time I got back to the house last night. I waited and waited until I was near tears with tired because of a silly lack of communication. I did cry at the pictures of the sunrise over the ocean that were posted online.

In spite of all my tired, I lay awake all night long. My girl keeping me company. I arose in the dark, showered myself clean, and welcomed the dawn. I'm still tired. I still need rest and a break in the worst way. But I feel better. I dunno, maybe I needed my own longest night.

Ever notice how people will talk about the dark of the moon but not the dark of the year?

Fire of water, hold me in your silken embrace. Warm me and hydrate me. Help my make my own path with passion and light the way through the dark waters.

Dawn, help me give hope and reassurance to children hurt by those that should care for them. Each new day bring new life and new choices. Return them to a place where they can heal and be children again. Eternal Beloved I ask this in your name because they deserve more than the hand they have been dealt thus far. Watch over them as they relearn the way of things and move forward in life.