My life from Impressionistic viewpoint
I see myself in other people. Sometimes it makes me smile. Sometimes it makes me cry. Sometimes I smile or cry for me. Sometimes for you.
I wrote in Paris that rain on a pane of glass helped me to see the world through an Impressionist's lens. Tonight I discovered that tears will do the same thing.
Tonight I wept because I cannot bed over to kiss my husband without hurting. My chiropractor says, "time takes time" as though that will help me through this. I'm used to hurting. I'm not used to being so restricted. For some reason I'm having trouble in waves dealing with this situation. I'm having to get a new car with no way of getting the income to cover that. I have obligations that I cannot meet and people that depend on me that I am letting down. I feel helpless. My brain is so scrambled that I am writing *everything* down.
I seem to need to be surrounded by people who will touch me all the time. It really helps me feel better. Anyone wanting to know why I love LK Hamilton's books, its that simple. She writes about people who get what I need. Forget the sex. Any trashy romance will give you that. No, she has created worlds where touching is accepted and an expected norm. Lately I can't even read them. It seems I *have* given up hope.
Tonight hope is beyond me. Tonight I pray for sleep. I pray for a waking that helps me move through my day. I pray for help with my helplessness.
( I Grieve )by Peter Gabriel
I wrote in Paris that rain on a pane of glass helped me to see the world through an Impressionist's lens. Tonight I discovered that tears will do the same thing.
Tonight I wept because I cannot bed over to kiss my husband without hurting. My chiropractor says, "time takes time" as though that will help me through this. I'm used to hurting. I'm not used to being so restricted. For some reason I'm having trouble in waves dealing with this situation. I'm having to get a new car with no way of getting the income to cover that. I have obligations that I cannot meet and people that depend on me that I am letting down. I feel helpless. My brain is so scrambled that I am writing *everything* down.
I seem to need to be surrounded by people who will touch me all the time. It really helps me feel better. Anyone wanting to know why I love LK Hamilton's books, its that simple. She writes about people who get what I need. Forget the sex. Any trashy romance will give you that. No, she has created worlds where touching is accepted and an expected norm. Lately I can't even read them. It seems I *have* given up hope.
Tonight hope is beyond me. Tonight I pray for sleep. I pray for a waking that helps me move through my day. I pray for help with my helplessness.
( I Grieve )by Peter Gabriel