hypatia42: (Fire from water)
I have been given a gift. A friend contacted me yesterday to say that she had surrounded herself with luxury and self care and thought of me. I really like that when people take care of themselves and really lavish themselves with the treatment they deserve they think of me. Not that I gave that ot them but the act of doing those things are things they associate with me. This is more awesome than words. Adore yourselves regularly people.

I no longer feel any need or desire to convince anyone that they are worthy of being with me or near me. In short, if you don't already believe you are worthy then you aren't. I've spent a lot of my life listening to people do the self deprecation thing and trying to show them how wrong they are. That they aren't hated or ulgy or not worth the air they are breathing or or or... I'm not saying you are bad for doing this if you do it. I'm saying I release myself from any obligation to do so. I want people around me who are independent adults.

Related to that last statement, I have no desire to be connected to anyone I could call boy or girl for that matter. I don't just want physically mature people in my life. I want emotionally mature grownups that own their shit and don't need to fix me to feel like a worthy human being. I think I've made it clear that I am adamantly against co-dependency in my life. Avoiding this means drawing adults to me.

I need to type out my personal disclaimer statement and put it in here too.
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from hear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me if true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

I want

May. 2nd, 2011 07:59 am
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
optimism
faith

I want

Apr. 29th, 2011 06:03 pm
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
someone I can trust
someone who trusts me
someone who knows the value of play
someone that knows their own strength
someone who knows themselves, their worth, and value
someone who trusts themselves
an emotional grownup
who takes care of themselves
and trusts me to do the same
independence of spirit
regal
someone that is stable and has a handle on the things they need to work on
an equal
honesty
energetic neutral
the ability to be present
understanding
acceptance
someone confident they will not hurt me

I'm sure I will think of more.

Dio touched me long ago. He wears a leopard pelt you know. The amazing synthesis of refinement and barely harnessed wild. He said I could always come to him if I needed anything and that I was always welcome at the party.

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