self care

Nov. 15th, 2015 12:33 pm
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
I'm taking my meds. The drapes are open for the sunny day. I have fed myself. The meds are helping me be in a place to notice that the dishwasher needs to be unloaded. Minor fail in remembering to scoop cat litter but that is still there to be done. I am dressed and generally looking forward to the day.

I am grateful that I have the brain space now to be able to do these things for myself. Taking care of myself is an act of love I give to others. I take care of me to the best of my ability in part because you love me and trust me to do it. I also take care of me for myself because I am worth it.
hypatia42: (hugs)
The second memorial is done. The words have been posted elsewhere. I have a video file on my phone that I have no idea what to do with but I have it. It was beautiful. It was well attended. It was everything it needed to be. I sang. I didn't suck at it.

The sound system was ... problematic so I sang unaccompanied and unmic'd. I didn't suck at it. I missed his voice harmonizing with mine. I'm a soprano y'know so I'm always the one with the melody. I don't know how to harmonize. I will miss him.

He taught me that some people deserve another chance after they have had their three. He taught me that even unpleasant experiences are worth something. He taught me that lavishing love on others is wonderful. He taught me that taking care of my health is REALLY important.

After it was all over I broke down and sobbed. Like scary sobbing in the foyer. Someone asked where the Honey was and I just couldn't hold it together any longer. He was over the Atlantic on his way to Paris for the week. My 'mada came up to help me hold it together for a few days and then she has to head home.

I'm tired. I leave Monday to drive to KC to take care of Mom for two weeks. Michael flies to Denver that day. He is then traveling directly to KC to help out as well. I think I am going to continue to be tired for a while.

*tears*

Apr. 30th, 2013 08:11 pm
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
We received Kitty Cat's ashes and paw print. It makes me want to sob. I don't have the time. That also makes me want to sob. I know I am making the future I want to move into and the one that I am called to in this plane. I am deeply saddened that she will not be here to support me and hear all about it.

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hypatia42

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