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Its mid-September and I feel like I missed most of summer. Part of that is the Honey broke and dislocated his wrist playing baseball necessitating 2 surgeries. When he does something he shoots for the best. I'm just glad the best was on call at that hospital that night. Not in the plan.

I feel like I was so busy that I can't remember most of it. This is unsatisfactory.

Started a nutritional shake program today. Hoping that having liquid food will help the rest of my systems to calm down.

My allergy testing was, thus far, not helpful. Blood tests from the allergist has me lower than she wants me to be for Vit D.

Saw a rheumatologist and he was sympathetic, unlike the last one years ago, but mostly didn't have any news that would help me. Blood tests from the Rheum haven't come back yet. Mebbe next week. He agreed that I have some sort of connective tissue thing going on and that I do have some hypermobility but its "not extreme" which pretty much means its not treatable. In the mean time I still can't carry anything without pulling my shoulders and back outta whack and I have no path forward to answers.

I guess I am feeling defeated and that is a really hard place to start winter at. I think I am hoping that the shakes will help underlying things become less problematic.


Mar. 8th, 2017 06:20 pm
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Because I vomited all over a friend's facebook post that was asking for recommendations:

KC style Q is sauce heavy. The rub takes a back seat to the sauce, sometimes being used as a wet rub while smoking but not always. The style of sauce varies significantly though I am not aware of any that don't have a tomato base.

Bryant's sauce has no sugar or molasses in it but is chock full of spices. The joke my dad used to tell was that if your nose wasn't running you didn't have enough sauce. It reminds me quite a bit of the Ethiopian dish berbere.

Jack Stack's sauce is more sweet. They have several different sauces with varying heat to them. I like them because they don't use black pepper as the only way to achieve "heat" in their sauce. It has a lot of flavor to balance out the sweet.

Joe's probably does the best pulled pork in town but their overall presentation leaves something to be desired. The sauce is good but nothing to write home about IMO. The sides are totally what you would expect of a place that started in a gas station. If your goal is pulled pork, definitely go here. Be prepared to wait in REALLY long lines.

Q39 is newish on the scene and has a bit of a hipster vibe. Kinda reminds me of the Butcher and Boar downtown here, only more economical than that. Their sauce is on point. Their meat offerings are really good. Sides vary by season and I have never had a complaint. I seem to remember that they have a good bourbon selection.

Gate's is one that no one has mentioned yet. I don't like them because they are one of the ones that use black pepper as their main spice component and I find it overwhelming yet it doesn't balance out the amount of molasses they use. My dad used to say they have better quality meats to start with than Bryant's but I feel that has changed over the past decade.

Food update

Nov. 4th, 2016 10:46 pm
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I had gluten several times this week. Once in some chili at Famous Dave's. The amount was probably minimal. Last night I was served fries that I noticed had a coating after I had eaten several. Gimme a break, it was late and I was hungry. Today I decided fuck it, if I am already glutened I would enjoy it for a day and went to Rustica.

Rustica is a place that uses older baking styles, longer proofing, and organic flours. Historically I have had less issues with them.

I have not experienced any digestive issues. I might be a bit more gassy than I typically am? Not sure that is causation. Dunno. I have noticed a few more joint issues and muscle weakness. Caveat, in the past two weeks I have pretty drastically increased my activity levels. In addition to my Pilates instruction, I have added 3-4 days of activity walking several miles or swimming laps at the gym. It is possible that the joint issues and muscle fatigue is due to increased activity...

Back in May around the time that things got bad again, after having most of the winter being okay, I had gluten deliberately and had severe digestive symptoms, whole body sweats, and what felt like a fever. I felt like I had been poisoned. Why is this different?

I am beginning to think yeast/mold/mildew is playing a factor in my sensitivity to different foods.
hypatia42: (Default)
Things are moving along. One foot in front of the other until it is time for bed. Rinse repeat.

Mom had to be taken to the ER Thanksgiving morning. Sis called and yelled at me for not telling her soon enough that I have a key to the house. Bro crawled back into bed to pretend none of this had ever happened. I spent the morning sobbing into my husband's fabulously purple shirt. Non-ideal.

I made 5 stops on my trip around the city that day. The last was the most important I think. Didn't get there until 10pm. I managed to destress enough that I wasn't in huge amounts of pain on the drive home the next day.

I got my hair colored while I was in KC. It still isn't light enough for my head parts but it is better. Maybe sometime in the next couple of months I will be able to get it all the way to good. The cut is fabulous for me.

Baby D is a charmer. He will tell you, "Don't drive angry" as you are walking out the door. If you tell him that first he will say, "Peace out homies." He asks to be excused from the table, the eat at the table even! I generally enjoy his company and he is only 3.

Dinner out with friends at Westport Cafe and Bar was fantastic. French cuisine with some flare. The bartender was fabulous. Ramos gin fizz is a new experience for me. I liked it in spite of myself. Ended the night at Harry's with more friends. Good times.

Got to spend some time with Dad and his wife. Fab food as usual. Heard all about their trip to NOLA. Renewed my desire to return and see it with the eyes of an adult.

Foodie win

Nov. 28th, 2013 12:13 pm
hypatia42: (Default)
"Moroccan" beef with cherries went over really well.

Beef suqaar(?) they said it was leg and it was cut really small not quite diced but close. I had never seen it before but it looked good so I figured what the heck?
-8tbs lemon juice
-4tbs olive oil
~~this is where it starts to get dodgy because of improvisation~~
-1/2 tsp cumin, paprika, cayenne, cinnamon
-1tsp parsley
-4 cloves garlic, fine chopped
-2 shallots, fine chopped
-about a handful of finely chopped ginger (mine had been soaking in vodka for a while but I bet pickled or fresh would work as well)
-8oz dried pitted tart Montmorency cherries
allow these to simmer on low until the cherries plump
-2lbs beef
-2tbs sugar
cook until beef is done
~1c stock to make it saucy ;)
~1 handful quinoa
I will consider taking the beef out before making the sauce part next time. I feel like the beef got overdone and was a little tough.
hypatia42: (Default)
I joined weight watchers yesterday. Today I heard the song "Starting Over" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. Made me tear up and feel better about myself all at once. One day at a time.

I remember this feeling from before. Constantly leaking energy to think about food. Forcing myself to eat enough food. Knowing that those extra calories will help me lose the weight I want to lose again. It feels weird tho. I don't generally make poor food choices. I'm just not good at remembering to eat. I don't like having to devote that much energy and thought to it.

My body is telling me to suck it up and devote that energy anyway. Be mindful of what you put into your mouth.

I'm finding that I really like the feeling I get after eating avocados. I'm mixing them into all kinds of things lately. Kinda like potato salad but ...different?

Major storm system moving through. :)

Pepper annoys me. She's a bully. She's mouthy. I don't like her. I am going to try Feliway to see if both of them will chill out a bit. I don't want to dislike one of my cats. How long does the transition stuff generally take?

last night I performed a fire ritual asking for healthy sustaining community. I need people around me who can help me meet my needs. Right now I don't have that. I don't know how to achieve it. So I released it and will see what comes back.

I dreamed of my ex the other night and wasn't troubled by the experience. Something major has shifted. Granted, my dreams have been truly bizarre lately. But it feels nice to know that fear is gone. :) I suppose it is likely that all of these things are coming together at once for a reason.

I have let go of all aspects of self doubt that I have access to
I have let go of my ability to have an inaccurate self image
I have let go of the ability to eat thoughtlessly
I welcome healthy sustaining community
hypatia42: (Default)
Don't think it has really sunk in yet that I have managed the "sublime" degree. Still makes my eyes roll involuntarily. I will survive.

Horrible dreams about R being mistreated. *heart breaking* I love you earth sprite. Be well.

Read Affliction. I was right about who Asher reminds me of. Still echoing.

Didn't sleep last night. Not sure why but since my sleep was so solid and deep in the days before(when I forgot to take my allergy meds) I am trying allergy meds in the morning instead of the evening. I am really hoping this will help my quality of sleep overall.

Got contacted by someone I never expected. Not sure what to make of that other than, *shrug* "Ok." My wariness level jumped a lot, I will admit.

Dinner in needs to be happening more. I think my kitchen needs to be better purged of gluten as well. I have noticed that physical stress makes me more sensitive to it. Despite being vigilant in MD, I still had Sx. Will do what I can to mitigate that in the future. Constantly be on enzymes?

Need to schedule the Pixie Child a visit to St. Sabrina's to get her ears redone. I might take her by there to explore the place before the scheduled visit so she can get used to the place. I know she wants earrings. I also hear that she doesn't deal with pain well. Her mother and I have plotted to make sure mom isn't around. :)

sun lust

Jan. 30th, 2013 03:49 pm
hypatia42: (Default)
I am missing the sun pretty badly. I had a wake up call via a text message I wrote. I said I didn't care what I did on my upcoming trip, I didn't care about it. I looked at that and I realized that is really not me. I realized I have been sleeping more and not really doing much. I realized I have been waiting around for something to happen when really I need to make it happen.

Progress on things under the cut )
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
I'm back from Portland. likely to get rambly )
hypatia42: (Default)
12:18 at the start of this post. I was exhausted and trying not to fall asleep at the table after dinner. Now I am wide awake. Might be the energy of the storm. It has calmed down now though. Just raining at this point. I hope the things I planted are enjoying it.

The rosemary shrub wants to go outside. I think it will probably be ok at this point. I am a little scared for it though. Have to get the Honey to cart it down the steps.

Two years ago I was trying to figure out how to recover from the worst car accident I have ever been in. The 26th passed without note for which I am grateful. Last year the Honey threatened to keep me in all day or wrap me in bubblewrap. Which he did to make me laugh because he knows that there is no way I would let him do something like that to me. It worked. I laughed. He told me to be careful. I did. All was well. This year I am doing better than I have in a long time. I can work, still less hours than I ought to be able to but I am doing well for myself and I feel like I am doing what I *need* to be doing.

People upon hearing that I was in two car accidents in 10 months will often say things like, "I'm never getting in the car with you," as though MVAs are a disease you can catch. It doesn't seem to matter that I wasn't even driving in the second one or that there was no way I could prevent the first as I wasn't at fault. People are superstitious. Its a little sad and it makes me chuckle on occasion.

Over the weekend I dreamed I was visiting a "renfaire" that I have dreamed about several times before. The people who were there or going with me changed but I remember the scenery. Tomcat's girlfriend for one. Why I would be dreaming about her I do not know. She is super sweet though. They might yet make it. I hope so.

The ice cream I tried to make before...something went wrong in the making of it. I'm not sure if the milk was on the verge of turning when I cooked it or if the cooking it did something strange but it is not right. It doesn't taste poisonous, just weird and tangy. Tangy ice cream is not so much what I was going for. I do wonder if it was the raw milk or if it was something I did. I've never cooked an ice cream, custard, or raw milk before. Lossa variables there.

It shedding season. The girl cannot effectively groom herself any longer though she still tries. This means I have to brush her and dear god she hates that. We need to make it a habit like giving her her pills. I have been avoiding it because she does hate it and it seems to hurt. She's getting mats though and that is worse for her than the brushing would be. She got used to taking pills. If I brush her a little bit regularly she might eventually be sorta ok with it. Right?

Time to find some extra motivation somewhere. I can do this.
hypatia42: (Default)
The brilliant idea to have the Honey bring me my meds when he gives the girl hers in the morning has paid off. I have been getting up and being able to be productive. I still regularly forget to ingest enough calories but I'm not forgetting altogether.

This week I have worked on the accent paint out front for the columns and spent three days of short bursts gardening. It is possible that this will be the first year we will have a decent looking garden out front. Given that most of what has been planted are bulbs of three variety, it is kind of a gamble and we will see how it turns out.

Right now I am spent. Drinking water. Praying that when I torqued my knee sideways it didn't do anything but irritate a weak area.

Next week I will work on the side front bed. Not much going in there. I will be pulling some of the sedum, echinacea, and maybe speedwell from the back. I might look into getting some creeping herbs or some such to put there.

I made the base for ice cream today. I really hope it will turn out ok. Cooking raw milk is interesting. It looked like it was trying to break into curds at one point. It smoothed back out mostly when I whisked the egg yolks in but I have no idea why it happened. I did everything that the recipe said to and I know it didn't ever get too hot. I strained the hell out of it before mixing with the cream and other milk. It might be kinda grainy or it might turn out to be an expensive mess. I am really not sure. I think next time I am simply going to make proto-eggnog and freeze that in the ice cream maker.

I really did feel better physically in Las Vegas. It is possible high desert would be good for me.

Have I mentioned how spent I am? And my foot is numb. On the leg that I torqued my knee... hrm.
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
I finally got enough cumin in the chili. Its not a super huge batch so getting the proportions right has proved difficult.

Large stock pot is currently making turkey stock that is EE safe. I can always add onions in the final product if she's not going to be around but having something I can offer her when needed feels good. It smells amazing. I just hope it will be done by the time I need to leave. Something tells me that leaving the burner on after leaving the house is a bad plan.

Look Good Naked is a go. My first class is tonight. I have committed to go on Monday and Thursday evenings because EE has the office during class times. Tuesdays and Saturdays if I don't have clients. I am a little terrified. Probably suppressing the rest of the terrified. I'm scared I am going to wreck myself trying to get back to working shape. My brain knows I have done it before and can get there again but my brain weasels are reminding me how much pain I have been in and that this is only going to make that worse. Only in the short term if at all. I can do this. Honor limits, communicate boundaries, do it.
hypatia42: (Default)
Allergies seem to keep getting worse despite everything I'm throwing at them. Time to get back to acupuncture.

After I managed to make myself human around noon, I went apple picking with EE and the tot. I now know that I wan to have a Siberian crabapple and a Dolgo crabapple tree. I got some gingergolds for the honey and then realized as I got home that he won't be here to eat them. I also got a few Vikings because the smell was so amazing. I'm hoping I can can some apple pie filling and convince my mom to use that instead of the HFCS canned in who knows where stuff she usually uses. Baby steps.

I continue the fight to get the girl to eat more. Lost ounces are not good for her.

The Honey promised me that today will be the last day of heat in MN. I dislike promises like this given their inability to be kept but I find myself clinging to this one. Don't wanna shut the house up and turn the a/c on. And so I sit in the 85 degrees heat of my second floor apartment.

What did I choose to do in the 85 degree heat? Can tomatoes... Doh! They had to be dealt with or they were going to go bad. Can't have that. I tried a different method of processing them. I think it will garner me more end product. Sometimes following the recipe is not the best way to get something done.

Thinking of food processing and stuffs, I need a way to deal with these crabapples so I can make stuff with them too. I'm thinking juicer to make cyser. There may be other ways to make juice tho. Need to research. I know heating up apple releases pectin so can't do it the way that Carol did grapes cause pectin is no good for mead and wine in general.

I will probably dehydrate the gingergolds. Feeling the need to get into the swing of that again. My dehydrated apples never last long enough.
hypatia42: (Default)
The disadvantage of being up most of the night is that you've already looked at all the things you would spend time looking at during the day.

Having cucumber salad and a grilled chicken thigh today for lunch. Forgot to eat much of anything yesterday. Wasn't really hungry. Its been more of a problem this week than the rest of the summer. The Honey threatened to hit me with the menu last night at dinner.

Mentally prepping for the coming weeks leaves me feeling busy but not daunted. Things coming into balance in my life are a really good thing. I've worked hard to get here. I will work hard to get to the next level too. But for now, in the space between one decision and the next, I will breathe and enjoy life and love and do my best to release expectation for what is to come.
hypatia42: (Default)
I went to KC(which in case anyone was wondering is actually in Missouri) for a long weekend. The worst head and neck pain I have experienced in a long while accompanied me. In spite of this I had a lovely time. Doubt I will stay with the kids again. Call me spoiled but I like having space that doesn't smell like cat pee or mean sleeping on a couch. *snerk* Course that's pretty much what people get if they come here at the moment. Not too much longer though.

Did not get to have Imo's, the bastards were closed unexpectedly, "Sorry for any inconvenience" it said. Did I mention bastards?

Business and office things continue to do what they are supposed to do. The Grand Opening Open House is this Saturday. Hoping plenty of people show up. Need to send out a couple more emails I think.

The Honey is in Denver. He asked me last night how I felt about Sweden in winter given my stated distaste for Norway in Winter. *headdesk* He apparently put in for an assessment team for northern Europe and that would happen in Sweden, short term stuff like Paris was. I told him if I wasn't staying with a chain smoker the experience would likely be much more pleasant for me.

Aixios(eks-wah) is a French place in KC down in Brookside. They had pretty damn decent food. Service wasn't stellar but it wasn't anything to complain about. Upon leaving I found that I was in exactly that place a year ago. The church across the street was where we all met up after Kevin's funeral. I was literally stunned.

I think fondue is not my favorite. It was described as a way where everyone participating could be a part of preparing the meal. I experience that in many other ways and thus it seems to not impact me as much. Possibly also because the enjoyment of eating things is a very personal intimate thing I do with myself. Yes I like eating with others but ... I dunno. Its hard to put into words. Maybe I have trouble really enjoying something I know I can easily do at home in greater quantity for less.

I listened to The Dragon Rider by Cornelia Funke on the way down and back. Lovely little story. I think I prefer her one off works to her series work. Some of her stuff is really hard and gritty in feel. I guess I run hot and cold with her. I have another one of hers that I've been "reading" that I'm only halfway thru and that doesn't bother me. Most of the way thru Inkheart too and I just don't care to finish right now. meh

Swimming was had. I have tan lines for the first time in a while. Much sun exposure felt really good.

I visited the Nelson for the first time since they opened the new wing. Didn't go in. I'm a bit of a anti-fan of modern art. In conversing about this I discovered the reason I prefer photography and sculpture as art forms. I find awe in nature not in the work of mastery for humans. S says he sees the years of work that went into learning a skill and I prefer to have no presence of the artist whatsoever because they did such an amazing job of representing real life. My Dad described to me learning another language and how many compliments you get when you get really good but you know you have made it when you stop getting compliments. Its kinda like that. Step out of the way and let the subject shine. For me anyhow.

Reminds me of how I was taught to write, don't tell them, show them. Don't describe a thing, let them experience it. Harder than it sounds and it doesn't sound easy.
hypatia42: (Default)
I was over at gerrifairyland on Sat and overheard people talking about cooking being the bane of their existence. If they didn't have a recipe with exact measurements and precise directions they could not do it and had no more interest in learning.

That was not me.

Tonight we utilize things that are in the kitchen lightly supplemented with things from the store to round the meal out. Starting with the idea that I had shrimp in the freezer, a packet of mole sauce with roasted tomato and chipotle seasonings in it, couple of limes, and some corn tortillas we have I decided to make a cabbage slaw and have shrimp tacos. Shrimp went into the simmer sauce. Napa cabbage tossed with cilantro, lime, garlic(who doesn't keep some of this one hand?), and half a can of diced green chilies. Quick mixed up some pico de gallo for the Honey: onion, and tomato from the garden, bit of lime juice and some chopped cilantro.

Things I bought from the store today for this meal:
chilies $1.89
cilantro $.99
napa cabbage $.92

And lo,

Apr. 26th, 2011 01:44 pm
hypatia42: (Default)
a plan was hatched. Its cold and wet here. Despite having drawn the thermal curtains it is still cold in here. Colder than the cold months of winter. Why? Because its effin raining outside and everything in my body hurts because of it. I used to be able to sleep through this but I seem to be in a not sleeping phase of things. urg.

I have bones in my freezer. Between the two freezers I have access to I have a lot of bones. The majority are chicken bones that will be made into chicken stock for making soups and the like. I need to find a way to freeze said stock in smaller amounts than a gallon sized ziplock such that I have smaller amounts usable to me at once. The bones that are currently in the pot are not chicken, they are "meat." If you do not know what "meat" is, message me privately, I do not wish to upset some of my lovely readers. Making stick will warm the house and give me something to do until I have something else I have to do.

So I am making "meat" stock. The thought in my head was to have it for when I make "meat" things. Well, what sort of "meat" things? Hmm, I don't really know said myself. Then inspiration struck. It is time intensive and the Honey won't eat it but by golly I like the things. Dolmades. If I make the rice with the "meat" stock instead of plain water there will be more flavor punch overall! All I have to do now is remember what all goes into them.

I may have underestimated the amount of water/space I needed for the number of "meat" bones I had on hand... Smells lovely tho.

butter to saute the rice in before cooking
lemon juice
grape leaves
ground "meat"
garlic...there's probably garlic in there somewhere right?
edit Onion! don't forget that
hypatia42: (Default)
I'm tired. Now, I know I have been doing a lot more this week than I usually do and I have been(this week anyway) been taking care of myself as I have previously been educated to. I have been getting sleep(as much as I am able), I have been taking my meds and supplements, I have been writing things down, I have been taking time off, and I have been making fun things happen. I'm not really sure what needs to change but it seems something does need to change. Wonder what it is that will need to be adjusted to help me find this new balance.

Balance says the Libra. Go fig.

Business continues to do good things. I am really glad of that. Will be extra glad when I have space that is not in my house. Exciting times.

One baby bok choy, garlic olive oil, hot chili sesame oil, and one tablespoon of peanut butter *of the gods* equals lunch today. Turned out fairly well. I think I will need more protein than this for dinner but it is tasty. The Honey does not like bok choy or I would have made it as a side dish for dinner earlier this week.


Feb. 23rd, 2010 04:55 pm
hypatia42: (Default)
The soup gods are teasing me. My soup of the moment is not speaking to me. They are giving me visions of how to make a savory apple soup with sausage.

*edit* or a spicy chicken mole soup with apples. Whats with the apples?


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