hypatia42: (Default)
Every once in a while I come across someone one or something in my life that takes me back to The Four Agreements. I am struck by how such a tiny book creates such a lasting impact in me. I should thank E for sharing it with me.

One of the TAs in my last cranio class came up to me and said thank you for being myself because she didn't like me when she first met me and then she realized that it was just her stuff staring back at her that she needed to deal with. My take away from that; I don't need to know that sort of info and I am unlikely to share that type of info even though I am likely to be in the same place as she was at other points in my life.

My ankle recovery is progressing really well. I'm really tired right now but I am weeks ahead of where they said I would be. I'm not even "supposed" to be out of the boot cast yet. I can walk almost normally and I am working on balance on my weak ankle. I still sit a lot but not as much as I was a month ago. I am paying attention to my body and honoring my limits while still working on expanding my abilities. Overall it is working. I am glad. Did I mention tired?

Two weeks ago the Honey was in Paris. Last week the Honey was in Denver. This week he is in Paris and again and next week he will be in London. *deep breath*

sun lust

Jan. 30th, 2013 03:49 pm
hypatia42: (Default)
I am missing the sun pretty badly. I had a wake up call via a text message I wrote. I said I didn't care what I did on my upcoming trip, I didn't care about it. I looked at that and I realized that is really not me. I realized I have been sleeping more and not really doing much. I realized I have been waiting around for something to happen when really I need to make it happen.

Progress on things under the cut )
hypatia42: (Default)
As per the stereotype of Wednesday as hump day there are good things and bad things and what you choose to focus on is what gets your energy.

bad: I woke for the second day in a row unable to turn my head. Debilitating pain, yes beyond my normal levels and that says something, was stabbing me in the back of the head.
-I have iced it, taken pain meds, rested, slept, honored my boundaries, and gone to see the chiro for the second time this week.
-I feel I have done all I can do for this situation at the moment thus dwelling on it does me no good.

bad: uterus is stabbing me randomly and not so randomly.
-I have done everything I am willing to do for this situation. I am not willing to completely forgo sex until after the issue is finalized(read, months if I am lucky). I have already curtailed most of that activity. Thus this is something I just have to deal with for now.

bad:My house is a wreck and shit needs to get done.
-see above for why dealing with this has not happened yet. Honoring my boundaries means I will go lay down for a nap soon.

Good: MrBee finally got back to me in a real reply kind of fashion. SQUEE. The bee season is slowing down and the kids are going back to school thus more time is available to be devoted to other things.
-people have their own schedules and lives and no matter how much you want to personalize it and beat yourself up, its really not about you.

Good: Shirtless continues to engage in fun ways with me. I enjoy talking with him and his mind is one I like. There are a couple of scratchy bits but in a no-expectation/no-stress paradigm they are not really issues.
-relax and go with the flow. Trust that you know your boundaries, that you will communicate them and they will be respected. You are worth that. *deep breath*

Good: Bad September is a local steampunk band that I got to attend the cd release for last night.
-Did realize that I don't really deal well with being on stage as I am not really a very good exhibitionist.
-made connections with other parts of the local steampunk community. Might have an outlet for that part of me without having to deal with the murder mystery group.

Good: allergy season seems to be calming down for me.

Good: I constantly have amazing people supporting me from across the globe. I know and love and am loved by so many and feel blessed.

Good: people are reaching out to me for love and support in the realms of my ministry and I can do those things in spite of being in pain and low on energy.
-your gifts are those things that can be proffered no matter the situation. You are blessed.

Good things are good. Bad things have been dealt with to the best of my ability. Nap now. Much love.
hypatia42: (pic#245179)
I feel like I need a word coined for the opposite sort of empathy feeling that compersion indicates. Everything I have seen says that compersion is all about happy and joy and I need one that is feeling sad when someone you love feels sad. It is also a strange feeling to want to talk to someone and say things like, "How on earth would you think it is a good idea to break up with my lover? Can't you tell he is truly awesome?"

cut for feminine tmi, you have been warned )

I have decided on a moniker for Berkie's manpanion. I can't really call him that myself since he isn't my manpanion. Still she is his Companion and since The Doctor has a Companion I have decided that is his name. It fits rather well and his habit of being a snappy dresser doesn't hurt things. It will be shorted to Doc for ease of typing cause I am lazy.

The body pain can go away now thx. I have been in pretty serious pain since getting home. Its like my body wants to go back to the ocean or something. *eyeroll* What am I going to do with myself? Sunday I got stung by a something at the farmer's market. Immediate pain. I didn't recognize it as venom poison pain until I found the welt 12 hours later, enough time that it had well and truly spread into my system. Still trying to deal with that one working its way out. I might ought to take another benadryl.

I feel so much better when I can get into the ocean. I know I have said this. It doesn't really help. The closest ocean is in the memory of the rocks beneath my feet. The land itself knows what it means to be water. And we circle back to the Tiffany Aching novels. I have been threatening to reread Terry Pratchett's works. Maybe now is a good time to do that. Escapism!

Go swimming more. Get out and go.

I have been riding my bike more since getting home. I think this is a good thing. The part of my brain that wanted to get in the car and drive for hours to clear my head is now accepting that maybe riding my bike would be a decent substitute since I haven't allowed myself to indulge that portion in years. I need better lights and some sort of storage system to make it a decent transport bike. I discovered yesterday that wearing anything on my back while riding causes significant pain in the neck/shoulders area. It could also be that was irritating the sting I got on Sunday...

I am going to TeslaCon. I will have fun. Mr.Bee will be there. So will his family. It remains to be seen if I will be able to get to know him, life being what it is for two adults who each run their own business and have committed lives in different cities. I am still looking forward to seeing him. Maybe I can convince him to go swimming. :)
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
I'm back from Portland. likely to get rambly )
hypatia42: (Girl Genius)
most of them aren't going into this post. :)

BEATRICE: Good Lord, for alliance! Thus goes every one to the
world but I, and I am sunburnt.

"I've still got sand in my shoes..."

I'm so sorry I didn't get to meet you. I really wanted to thank you. I hope things turn out well.

Its just now midnight where I have been for several days. I should sleep but how?

"What's with the bee?"

Fellowship and blessings upon your household. Give Thanks.
hypatia42: (pic#245179)
I smelled something today that I thought to never smell again. I missed this smell.

I can smell orange scratch and sniff stickers and be instantly transported to preschool.

Smelling peppermint altoids is forever linked with cigarette smoke in my head and will probably always be a turn off.

The Urban Bean's miel smells just like cinnamon toast. I have no idea why but they have the best one I have ever found.

Really spicy food smells like comfort to me. I know I'm strange. You don't have to eat it.

Nag Champa smells like home. It warms me to my toes.

It is so rare to fond people who will let you cover them in your own scent. Cherish those people in your life.

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