May 2016

May. 5th, 2016 12:29 am
hypatia42: (Default)
I am barely keeping my head above water as I am treading. Barely but I am doing it. This is a nice change over the last year or so.

In May I am planning for Beltane, hanging my art at a local art festival and all the prep that requires, visiting KC for about a week for grad parties, ConQuest, and a birthday party, and then final prep for the Pirate Cruise. Honestly that is about three too many things for me t obe lead on and still keep track of everything. I feel like I'm losing track of things.

I am truly grateful that the Honey hears me when I say I am getting overwhelmed and helps me prioritize, organize, and stay on track. He really is amazing at helping me to see what the next step is and that even though I feel overwhelmed, I have what it takes to make everything work. Did I mention blessed?

Getting ready for Art-A-Whirl means getting business cards, website, portfolio, stock, etc... all ready to display on the 22nd of May. Kinda freaky. Feeling very imposter syndrome even though it was last year at this event wandering around thinking I am better than any photographer I saw displayed that put me on this path. I will get through this. I am good at what I do. What I do is different from what other people do. People want to see what I see and want to own copies of my visions. SMIB

Love!
hypatia42: (Default)
Spring is springing. Plants are pushing up above the soil. I am sneezing.

For my record, it has been 9 days since I got the massage from Dan at my chiro office. I am still covered in bruises. Some of them didn't even surface to the skin level until Saturday. Yes I did tell chiro about it. Dan was out sick so I couldn't tell him.

Today I went to a floral wholesale warehouse. OMG. Ang looked at me before taking me in and said, "This is going to be overwhelming. I need you to focus and not go all ADD on me." Good warning. Wow. I went over there because I wanted to get flowers to put in my hair for tomorrow's adventure at MIA Art In Bloom. It is a fashion floral extravaganza. I am really looking forward to it.

Originally I was supposed to have two people going with me to MIA. Then the Honey got sent to Denver this week. Now Ash has been working 20 hour days to try to finish a contract he has and likely won't be able to get that done in time to go either. I looked at the description of events tomorrow and I am going anyway. It is going to be amazing and wonderful and damned if I can't appreciate it on my own.

Gardening things need to happen but I am not in a rush for that. I have a few perennials that need to be put in and I need to make a plan for the rest of the softscaping we didn't get to last year. I feel blessed that my allergies are no where near as bad as they have been in the past. Thank you OPC3.

Business things are happening. I signed a lease for a 200sqft space that when finished will be absolutely amazing. I have one sublease signed and one other that might be interested. I have purchased a loveseat and am in the market for a couple of lamps. I need to print artwork and get it framed. I need a rug for the floor. I have to wait for the building to get more finished before I can get my business license because inspections have to happen. Ang said she would help me make the space look welcoming and professional.

I have ranunculus on my table. :D
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
I feel like everything in life has been hit with Calvin's transmogrify ray set to high. So many things changing. I think ultimately it will all be to the good but assimilation of the new patterns will likely take some time.

I lost my girl. Life has been filled with depression, crazy busy, and a profound sense of loss ever since. Figuring out how to deal with the loss of a familiar is ...words fail me. She did so much around here. I'm having to figure out what it all was and try to make up for the lack. I can't say that it has been graceful. I do think it is getting better.

I have another couple of months in my water year before I transition completely to earth. Its looking like those will be all about recovery. A broken ankle takes quite a bit of sit and recover. I start rehab next week. I know my ROM is getting better and the swelling is going down. I go see the ortho again next Monday and I get to tell him that the boot is too big now. Its almost too big to be effective except it still gives some support. I will see what he says. Tuesday is the first PT appt where I get assessed and I will find out what recovery looks like on that front. Daunting is the word.

It is daunting partly because the Honey is leaving Sunday for Paris. Gone for a week. I have no idea how things will turn out that week trying to get by on my own. One day at a time I guess. I do wish I had a remote to unlock the door so people would have an easier time visiting.

Business is completely on hold. Can't work. :-/ Not thrilled about it but I don't have much choice.

I did manage to travel quite a bit this year. I added Phoenix, Baltimore, and Key West to my list of places I have been.

Expressions of care and love have come from some unexpected places. I got a personal phone call rather than a mass message to notify me of something that is likely to change things radically is certain parts of my life. I got a gift mailed to me simply to lift my face into a smile. People I rarely see in person reached out to hold me exactly as I am and tell me that the reason I was worried they would be upset is one of the reasons they love me so much.

There have been plenty of reasons to feel down about this year. However, in the past month I have discovered I can't be depressed on narcotics. I am a much more functional human being when I continue to strive for the good, focus on the positive influences, and express gratitude regularly.

Thank you for being here to witness. And thank 2013 for being over. Viva 2014!
hypatia42: (Default)
I never gave birth to a human. I never will. In the past month I have been in labor pains to birth a space of wellness, my cat passed from this world, planning for B*FG began in earnest, my closing ritual happened, planning for two other major rites of passage for me kicked up, completed Cranio 1 in the process of becoming certified, and I completed a memorial walk raising $295 for the Animal Humane Society in honor of Kitty Cat.

I can't really fathom being more busy and "on" all the time without needing to be institutionalized. My hand is letting me know that it is objecting to the amount of activity it is being used for. Trying to eat better and make sure I get enough sleep. Doing what I can to take care of myself.

I finally got to sob all night about Kitty Cat. Feeling more at peace after the Walk for Animals. The Honey was home during the day and noticed how empty it feels here. I laughed in his face and he realized I had to deal with being alone in the house for a week while he was busy in Denver. I have Never lived alone. I have always had my girl at least. I think he is ready to find other animals to have around. I'm not sure about me.

Torby is officially M's cat. She is much happier over there. We want to get her a check up and current on her shots but...yeah. She's not a young thing anymore either. 12 I think. Still feisty tho.

Things are falling through the cracks, getting forgotten, picked up again, and trying to move forward in faith that things will get done as they may. I need a pamper type of activity soon. My hair is too dark, maybe I can get it lightened as a way to lighten my frame of mind.
hypatia42: (Default)
I think tomorrow I am going to regret some of the decisions of today. Perhaps regret is a strong word. Definitely pay for.

Last night I was at a party until after 2:30am. Got up too early because I am still coming off of steroids and can't sleep so good. Spent roughly 5.5 hours building a new business 4.5 of which was hammering out financial details so we can go to the accountant and business lawyer with coherent information. Yes. I said that. Business lawyer. OMG what have I gotten myself into? The Honey says it is a relatively low risk investment... :P

After I got home I was so fried that I wanted to break down and cry. What did I do? I filtered the Leopard Skin(tentative name) so now I have grape skins and seeds in one corner and proto-wine in a carboy in the other. My back is not really thanking me but my mind no longer feels like rocking in one of the aforementioned corners.

One week off of Prednisone and my face is starting to look more like it used to. I'm still about 5lbs over what I was but I need a kick in the pants about losing the weight I gained from the surgery anyway. I can't sleep so well but I'm not good at that on a good day. Its usually better this time of year simply because of the SADs. Not so now. I managed to be tired enough on Saturday that I laid down for 30 minutes to nap. I didn't sleep so much as rest but it helped. Something seriously fucked up about being neurotically tired and chemically incapable of sleep. Not a fan. Thanks.

Be Wellness. EE's designer has our vision of the place and the colors we want to incorporate. omg I'm doing this. I started a business in the worst recession since the Great Depression and I didn't fuck it up so hard that I am joining with someone else to expand said not fuck up into something even bigger which I will proudly say I don't expect to fuck up. *quietly freaking out*

There has been too much caffeine and alcohol this weekend. I just want to sleep. Soon, very soon, I will be heading to Surprise, AZ for spring training. Its gonna be 80 degrees there. Yeah. That will be good.

sun lust

Jan. 30th, 2013 03:49 pm
hypatia42: (Default)
I am missing the sun pretty badly. I had a wake up call via a text message I wrote. I said I didn't care what I did on my upcoming trip, I didn't care about it. I looked at that and I realized that is really not me. I realized I have been sleeping more and not really doing much. I realized I have been waiting around for something to happen when really I need to make it happen.

Progress on things under the cut )
hypatia42: (Default)
I feels like forever since I have written here rather than a couple of weeks. The news being simple, nobody died. I always feel like that is a positive thing when traveling to KC for the holidays. Business has been busy though it has slowed this week. I have shit to do and no desire to motivate to do it. I did get painting started at the office.

Bringing up difficult subjects right before bed is not a good idea with me. I should have been asleep hours ago but for an email I didn't want to have to deal with that wasn't even sent to me. I'm doing alright after reading fluff for two and a half hours. Fluff is important in this house. Helps me gain a bit of time and perspective. :)

The test for celiac came back negative. I'm still off of gluten for now considering how terrible I felt for the time I had to eat it for the blood test. Yuck. I am finding that I like exploring with food. I really do like cooking. The improvising with ingredients on-hand is a hoot.

Can't really cook for Shirtless. He dislikes anything with flavor. He has liked the things I have cooked for him. Eh. Rare protein and some inoffensive vegetable or fruit seems to make him happy. I can do that but its not much of a challenge.

I've decided I want to travel more this year. I think I can manage it fairly easily with what is planned at this point. Arizona for spring training, Baltimore for NADWcon, Ft Lauderdale for the wedding, southern MO for a float trip(I hope). I wouldn't mind driving over to Madison to see Mr Bee.

Life is doing its thing. I will be glad when the sun gets a better foothold. I've really felt the cold this year. The girl is hanging on living on stubborn. The Honey will likely be traveling more. I love what I do.

Happy January.
hypatia42: (Default)
there was a hurricane and a shit storm at the end of August. There was heat and there was allergy hell. I think I am glad its over.

Today I started P90X Lean. I've been super stressed about the physical issues going on and I know I have been stress eating. I am going to do my best to change that into stress workouts. I am back to not being able to eat enough food because of the muscle building. I feel a bit like I can't win for losing but I know that getting in better shape now will prevent more issues and allow faster recovery when it comes time for surgery. *aside; I just not looked up the word surgery and it doesn't necessarily involve cutting into flesh*

Three difference procedures are on the horizon for me. Possibly two if the first one isn't favorable. But we aren't focusing on that. I've been trying to figure out how to explain why I am so upset about this. The most benign of the three involve reaching inside me, grabbing a piece, and twisting it off. Its a pretty viscerally not fun experience. For those lacking a uterus I would liken it to someone taking a pair of tongs and twisting your uvula off. For the record I have had this done twice now. My recovery time and pattern has not gone well the other times.

I have maintained some sort of marks since CONvergence. Yes this makes me happy. Not being able to have sex is a bummer but there are so many other things than sex I am doing ok. I should hear back from my Dr on Thursday.

I have made two solid connections here in the Twin Cities. Two different guys that I can spend time with and its understood that it is low stress. One is so low stress I never hear from him. The other has three other women and practices what he calls radical honesty. Having seen radical honesty I don't think that is what he is doing but he is committed to not lying. He and I have a lot of philosophy in common.

MrBee's life has slowed down enough that I am finally getting to know him. Its super fun. I enjoy picking his brain about things and he seems to enjoy sharing so for the moment things are all groovy there. I am learning things from him about TeslaCon and I'm really getting excited about that. There will be sewing.

The kids are all back in school as of today. Wolf pup starts his first day of preschool.

We went apple picking over the weekend. Sweetland Orchard really is an awesome place. I love the people who own it. Last weekend was orchard clean up day. I like being able to contribute to the upkeep of a place that I value in a physical as well as monetary way. I think incorporating something like that might be fun for the wellness center.

Be Wellness is the interim name for the wellness center that will be. I told EE that I would be tempted to put bees all over the walls. She said she is fine with that. :) Any positive thoughts/energy you wanna throw our way is appreciated. We have a cider jar in the office right now holding all that stuff. Toss it in with the rest.
hypatia42: (Default)
The Girl is still alive. I find it odd that I can honestly answer people with this when they ask me how she is doing. She's a cranky old lady and she's earned it. She has so much more grace than I. I learn so much from her.

I have business checks. I had no idea that something so simple showing up in the mail would be such an ecstatic experience. Day by day I am making this life work for me. I am grateful.

I have tickets to see Jason Mraz with EE in Sept. I am planning a dinner prior to the concert. Likely downtown, vegetarian friendly, and drinks available. If you are going to the concert, or even if you are not, and want to join us lemme know.

Body is doing ok today. [personal profile] akrissy rightly reminded me that I ought to go get an acupuncture treatment. Did that this morning and I am mentally clearer than I have been in weeks. Not been doing my workouts cause of pain levels. I have been able to work and I give thanks for that.

A couple of days ago I made progress on the blue accent paint that is going on the white columns out on the front porch of my big blue house. The Honey wanted to know when I was going to get the paint on the the tooth shaped details. I glared at him. :) In theory the teeth painting should be easier because I am not having to support myself with an arm or leg and paint with my off arm something that requires immense attention to detail. I am now a Frogtape convert though. Oh god that stuff rocks.

I need to set aside some time to rack the Freya's Gold. I had no expectation that it would clear like it has. I thought it was done fermenting but the weather warmed up and the bubbler started blurping again. I'm in no rush.

Beltane this weekend. Looking like family and fellowship is on the menu. I am grateful for that as well. That and the impetus to clean up my house some. :D

On the fluff TV front, Lost Girl may have lost me as a dedicated viewer. I don't really want reality in my fluff tv. I understand the choice made and can even agree with the necessity. However, that also means that it hit a little too close to home. I don't like being faced with things in my entertainment that look too much like sacrifices I have had to make in myself. :P *see fluff*

Trying to figure out the balance between myself and the Honey. He is so much more independent than I am. Yes, that is saying something. Planning things to do, getting out of the house together, expressing my needs, and trying not to be the thing than prevents him from meeting his own needs. To say it is a delicate balancing act is putting it mildly. Deep breaths and honest communication. 17 years.

I need to decide what I am doing for Labor Day weekend. A big factor in that is what can I afford to do? What I want to do is pulled in multiple different directions.

I am hoping that I have a strong enough foundation at this point that I can reach out and help others safely. Time will tell.
hypatia42: (Default)
Today was the third workout. P90X2. The Honey went as it was a community outreach class and was free to all comers.

It kicked our asses. All over the room. I think I will be lucky to be able to stand tomorrow. VEGAS here I come!

Lower body imbalances are more pronounced now that I am paying attention to them. Pieces that are hyperflexible are making themselves known. I feel I am doing well though. I do need to start logging foods again. I already know that that task is something that helps me lose weight. I just hate doing it with a passion. Have to find a way to make it convenient. There's a app for that right?

Wolfpup's birthday party was today. The castle blocks were a big hit. Tamales worked well as party food.

Home to nap after the day's exertions. Woke to a cl calling about stopping by for a gift certificate. Rock! My schedule is slowly recovering from the holiday busy time slump. I need to remember this for next year and plan accordingly.

In the words of [personal profile] welshbard last night at dinner, "I love my life."
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
As of January 2rd prices will be temporarily reduced by $20 for any massage service 60 minutes or longer. This means a 60 minute massage is just $40 and a 90 minute massage is only $60.

We are committed to help you start the year off right with your wellness goals be they fitness, health, or relaxation oriented. Trigger point, Cranio Sacral, corrective exercises, and pediatric are just some of the specialties available.

Prices good until Feb 20th. Taxes extra.

unknowns

Mar. 16th, 2011 05:00 pm
hypatia42: (Girl Genius)
well, the place I sent my info and check to cashed the check. I await my affidavit of publication.

I didn't know that affidavit had two "f"s in it. Well, man, all your esses look like effs!

when will the man with the traps come back and catch the new demolition crew chewing my house apart? Must remember to call him.

when will my lawyer get things moving with regards to the case that just got much more complicated? Must remember to call him too.

will my landlord ever step up and make sure that the place is taken care of? While this is an unknown, I think it safe to say no given previous evidence.

Tomorrow? This weekend? This year? The rest of my life? Unknown. Usually I am comforted by this. Not today.

Sitting in uncertainty. Knowing that the unknowable will reveal itself in due time. My ability to maintain myself in a place of peace regarding this ebbs and flows. W is right. Time for big water. Will need to sob into it in short order.

Back to work.
hypatia42: (Fire from water)
I just spent the better part of an hour reconstructing my earnings for the last three months. I am now depressed. Not because of the numbers. Because of the success. I had gotten to a point in my practice where I could physically keep up and actually support myself. *sigh* That got taken away from me. Plans are never what you plan them to be.
hypatia42: (Girl Genius)
Yesterday was a hair day. I cut the Honey's hair, nothing new, and I cut and dyed [profile] gwisteria's hair. I rolled mine in curlers and left them overnight. I now look like Shirley Temple.

I signed up for a class on CranioSacral work. Eeep. Its gonna be great. It gets me half of my required CEUs for this certification period. I want to pick up the fascial work class late this year as well. Have missed it twice and I know it would be good for my practice.

I need to find another mirror. I feel like I need to figure out how to stop being a mirror for certain things in others. I remember reading a post from [profile] ingridsummers once about the things others see of themselves in you also having a lesson in it. I should probably talk to her about it.

I am fae. Just in case it wasn't clear and present in anyone's mind. No really. Its not that I like them and could decide to walk away if I wanted to. I am one. This causes some people consternation.

Decision time coming. Hard ones to make. Financial elements vying with personal and spiritual ones. I'm not sure yet which will win out. I don't even know which ones I want to win out. *wry smile* I guess that is part of what makes them hard.

Thinking of haring off to KC for the weekend. By which I mean I would spend most of it in Lawrence with [personal profile] berkie. I generally do when I am going there for my mental health. Much as I love my mom she's not the person to lean on when you have a beat up heart.

Boss man says I should have been born with curly hair. :D Oh if he weren't so young...and cynical...and short. But I digress.
hypatia42: (Default)
In the past few days I have not taken my maintenance meds to see what my baseline is. My baseline is apparently sitting at needing to sleep most of the time. Pain is exhausting. Two weeks ago I could do three hours of massage in a row and not have negative physical or energy effects. Not so any longer. I need to get documents to my doctor and insurance company. It begins again. So tired.

Sadly, it would probably be better for me to not take the meds and actually honor those boundaries but my schedule and finances won't permit it. Always the balance between taking care of myself and getting the bills paid.
hypatia42: (Default)
I'm tired. Now, I know I have been doing a lot more this week than I usually do and I have been(this week anyway) been taking care of myself as I have previously been educated to. I have been getting sleep(as much as I am able), I have been taking my meds and supplements, I have been writing things down, I have been taking time off, and I have been making fun things happen. I'm not really sure what needs to change but it seems something does need to change. Wonder what it is that will need to be adjusted to help me find this new balance.

Balance says the Libra. Go fig.

Business continues to do good things. I am really glad of that. Will be extra glad when I have space that is not in my house. Exciting times.

One baby bok choy, garlic olive oil, hot chili sesame oil, and one tablespoon of peanut butter *of the gods* equals lunch today. Turned out fairly well. I think I will need more protein than this for dinner but it is tasty. The Honey does not like bok choy or I would have made it as a side dish for dinner earlier this week.

Busy

Jan. 26th, 2011 10:25 am
hypatia42: (Default)
Egad! Business. *pant pant* I don't feel like I have had sitting down at home time for a while. Always on the go. I am truly lucky that I can physically do this.

The squirrels need to go away. Need to call the removal dude. Maybe I can do that this afternoon? After working more and picking up da Vitty from the airport. Egad.

Still need to register dba and get a couple of bank accounts. Business style.
hypatia42: (Default)
Things are really picking up in the business aspect of my life. It feels good and right. It is also terrifying me. I take this as a good sign.

Things shifted for me while in FL. Like tectonically moved scale. The face of my life has changed and I'm not quite sure how things will ultimately shake out. Made some decisions, restructured things, communicated other things in better ways, overall good stuff going on in Amy-land.

I have set things up to pay my sales tax once a year. I will have to surpass 21 massages a month for that to have to change. I think this is an ok threshold to stay under for my health and wellness and overall focus allowed to other parts of my life that I find valuable.

cut for financials ) It will take me a while to work my business up to the point where I am doing anywhere close to 21 massages a month but I have faith that I will get there. In the meantime I am doing everything I can to cover my bills(eeeeppp!!).

Car accident recovery continues apace. That pace being slow. There are a couple of places that are hounding me for payment since they either billed slowly or miss billed at the offset. Not so happy about that but I am lucky to have a good lawyer who is fighting for me. I kinda wish I could say I was done and recovered already but that would be a lie, or overly optimistic...
hypatia42: (Girl Genius)
Exciting times ahead. In early February, Open Hands Healing and Bodywork will be moving into its new studio space. Schedule with me in the next three weeks and get your one hour massage for $40. That's $5 less than the 30 minute price. Just a reminder, debit and credit cards are now accepted.

Evening times will go fast so schedule soon if that is what you need!

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